Let me apologize for taking so long to get this written and
posted. Here is my newest news for
those of you who don’t already know.
 
I’m home. As in I’m in Mississippi-no, this isn’t a holiday break from the race, although some moments I wish it was.
 
Going into Cambodia, I knew that the month there was going
to be one where the Lord did great things within me. I shared this with a
couple people, thinking what was to come would be so definitive of what
ministry would look like in my life-in application to the race. What happened
was certainly something unexpected, which I suppose is the nature of the world
race.
 
One day, while staring out at the rice fields on the
“campus” of our school ministry site, I stood praying and spending time with my
God. The presence of God is something I have grown to feel very powerfully.  So while I stood overlooking the beauty
of His creation, He was with me. That’s not something I can deny. I was praying
for direction and processing the way my views of “service” were changing. Then,
clear as a bell I heard the voice I’ve always known to be the Holy Spirit tell
me, “I’m taking you home.” I just about passed out. WHAT in the world? Surely I
heard that all wrong. I wasn’t the least bit homesick, okay…I did miss fall. I’m
the free-spirited one, the girl who can adjust to anything, looking back isn’t
something I’m keen on, and quitting something I’m committed to is in no way an
option. The World Race is an 11 month commitment. Period.
 
Until God himself tells you to get your butt back to the
States. Then your world is scattered and nothing you know about yourself is
true anymore. All of a sudden, I was left to argue with The Creator of, oh just
EVERYTHING. No big deal. For well over a week I contemplated every other
option. This wasn’t a Christ inspired thought…well, that meant that everything I’ve
ever heard God say to me wasn’t really Him-option one: ruled out.  Okay, I was told that because I wanted
to hear it due to frustration with the circumstances, hmm. Possilble. So, I waited.
About two weeks of praying constantly, thinking, fasting, searching Scripture
to just know God more and see if He would really say something this unexpected.
Yep…He would, and does quite frequently in the Bible.
 
I hear this same thing each time I ask for direction. It
actually becomes more specific. I started to listen to my Father-my radical, do
anything to know me and grow my character Lord.
 
You know what I realized? The first thing I learned is that
I am a person who was surrounded by people I loved at home and opportunities to
be a servant of Christ but I was so set on the fact that missions meant going
overseas that I couldn’t be 
content serving in the role I was placed.
 
My own dreams of traveling and preaching the Good News to
those in poverty kept me from seeing the poor of heart, poor of spirit, poor of
hope, poor of joy, poor of life people I was around every single day in
Mississippi.
 
Brokenness wrapped itself around my core and I was left with
nothing else to do other than cry out.  My next thought was that now I had understood this, surely that
was the point of all this craziness about going home. Since that was settled I
would be able to continue the rest of my Race and when I returned to America in
the fall of 2011 I would be willing and ready to dive into ministry at home.
 
Wrong again.
 
At this point, I’m realizing that explaining this is going
to be longer than one blog should ever be. So, with that said…I’m going to give
more in the next post. It gets better. Get ready!