Yep… This week I used a machete. After camp one day, our team was asked to do a little cosmetic work on the propert of Zion’s Gate. The property is completely surrounded by tall grasses, weeds, and trees, so we were given machetes and asked to go to town. Unlike America, lawn mowers and yard crews are relatively non-existent. So I spent the next 2-3 hours hacking away at a small forest. It was strangely therapeutic! I came away with only minor injuries including blisters, bruises, and small cuts from rogue briar patches.
This was once a small forest!
Ironically enough, I feel as though God has been taking a machete to my life as of late. I thought I was doing fine. I pridefully thought to myself, “Aren’t I blessed that I don’t have any baggage to deal with while I’m on the Race?” But oh, how dead wrong I was.
Before I came on the Race, the desire of my heart was to step out of myself, to really, truly understand that this life is not about me. I wanted to be a part of something so much bigger than myself. But in order to do that, God asks us to die to ourselves.
“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever would save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s shall save it.” –Mark 8:34=35
And I don’t think I truly grasped what that meant. It means daily dying to myself.
Dying to my selfish desires.
Dying to my sense of entitlement.
Dying to my need for recognition and praise.
Dying to the spirit of comparison.
Dying to my need to please others instead of God.
I didn’t even realize that I struggled with these things so much. Last month I felt like God was asking me to step out of my “Sydney Bubble.” So I tried to tip-toe out, one baby step at a time, at my own comfortable pace. But that wasn’t good enough.
Wednesday night, we had a big talk with the whole squad and our squad leaders, Stacey and Mike, about dying to our selfish desires, our sense of entitlement, and the spirit of comparison. We all needed to be reminded that we committed this year to the Lord. It’s His year, not mine. And because of that, I am no longer my own. I am the Lord’s. When I committed my life to Christ, I became His.
“You are not your own; for you were bought with a price: glorify God therefore in your body.” -1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Jesus spilled his blood and died so that I could be His. Therefore, as comfortable as they may be, I am no longer entitled to the things of this world, whether it be internet, daily showers, sleep, my favorite foods, praise from others, or anything else. These things are blessings from the Lord, but I do not ‘deserve’ them.
That night, God brought me face to face with the reality of my selfishness. It’s ugly, it’s gross, and it’s not of Him. So tomorrow is a new day. And thankfully, our God is a gracious God, and His mercies are new each morning (Lam. 3:22-23). I am a work in progress… and as painful as at may be, I have to thank the Lord and praise His Name that I am making progress. Even in the midst of tears, I have no choice but to praise Him for loving me enough to not let me remain the way I was, for taking the time and effort to make me more like Him.
I am learning every day to thank Him in spite of my circumstances, praise Him in the sunshine AND the storm.
Thursday was Thanksgiving, and as much as my heart ached to be at home with my family, baking pumpkin and apple pies and filling my stomach to the brim with green bean casserole, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, I still had to praise Him for all He has blessed me with.
-I am thankful for an amazing Thanksgiving meal that was put together for all 52 of us, including chicken, stuffing, roasted potatoes, corn, deviled eggs, macaroni, and even pumpkin pie. Yep, we found all of these things in Honduras! (Turkey was a little expensive for our $2 per meal budget!)
-I am thankful for an amazing, loving family at home that I have to miss and to miss me!
-I am thankful for a wonderful World Race family God has placed around me to love and encourage me this year.
One of my new little brothers, Ariel
-I am thankful for my tent, which gives me a small (but much needed) amount of personal space.
Our little tent city
-I am thankful God is not finished with me yet 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving from Honduras!
See all my pictures from Honduras HERE!
