The week leading up to training camp was not good. School had me overwhelmed. I was averaging 4 hours of sleep each night. I didn’t have my gear ready. I wasn’t even packed for camp until 3:30am the morning OF camp. And I was missing the county meet for camp, which was harder than I can even explain. My heart was breaking Saturday morning as I was getting ready for camp instead of heading to Tech to watch my swimmers. I don’t think I had ever been so stressed out and overwhelmed in my life. So I showed up to camp with a lot of reservations and worries: I’m exhausted, I don’t know anybody, I’m not going to fit in, I’ve heard we’ve gotta sleep on a bus, I don’t want to sleep on a bus. The worries were endless. But let me tell you guys, they were simply lies from Satan.
Don’t get me wrong, I was exhausted. I’m pretty sure every day that exhaustion level grew (Training camp is HARD). I did have to sleep on a bus. I showed up not knowing anybody. But you know what all these things did for me? My exhaustion allowed me to break my walls down. God needed me exhausted in order to rebuild me. Sleeping on a bus allowed me to rely on others. God needed me to see that I don’t have to do this on my own. And I didn’t know anybody, which allowed me the chance to get to know everybody. And because of that, God was able to put together a family.
In a lot of ways, camp was harder than I expected it to be. For the first half of the week I felt pretty disconnected from God, and that was hard. Then God brought up some parts of my past that I’d rather forget. I had to go without any of my belongings for 24 hours. I had to learn how to be an introvert and still thrive while living in community. I took only two showers all week. As a squad, we had to say goodbye to three squad mates. And if that wasn’t enough, we had to say goodbye to one of our squad leaders. And throughout all of this, we had to trust that God’s plans our bigger than our own, even when it hurts.
It felt like I was being attacked by Satan sometimes, and not just me – it felt like my squad was being attacked. And one of our squad leaders, Tyler, pointed out that we probably were. That Satan knows this squad is going to do so many incredible things to further the Kingdom, and he’ll do his best to stop us. But iSquad knows better, and we won’t let that happen.
We know that God is powerful, and mighty, and merciful. And God is for us, not against us.
As hard as this week was, I learned a lot! About me, about my relationship with God, about my relationship with others, about trust, healing, commitment, etc. I learned so much that I don’t want to jam it into this blog, so check back later this week for a “Lessons from Camp” post 🙂
As hard as this week was, I’m so grateful for it. And it’s because of you, my wonderful supporters, that I got to experience it! If it wasn’t for your donations, I wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for your prayers, I wouldn’t have made it through. So from the bottom of my heart: Thank you!!
As hard as this week was, I’d do it all over again.
Because this week, I formed new, wonderful relationships with some incredible people. I love my squad! I seriously wouldn’t have survived this week without them. This week gave me the chance to not only get to know my squad mates, but to learn to love them. God has brought me a new family! And they’re crazy awesome. And it just so happens that I get to travel the world with them.
I don’t think it’s possible to be more blessed than I am.
So did training camp take a toll on my heart and spirit? Absolutely. But in the best way possible.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
