In the last 19 years of my life I have been hurt.
I’ve had minor hurts.
I have had my feelings hurt by middle school bullies growing up. I have had people make fun of the way I dressed, or the way I did my hair. I have had people mock my big lips and teeth. I have had people point out my insecurities. I’ve had so called “friends” leave me out of sleepovers and birthday parties. I’ve had people tell me my shoes were ugly.
And then, I’ve had hurts a lot more big than just petty digs.
I’ve had a parent absent from my life. I have had unbelievable lies told to me, to be little me. I have been verbally attacked by people who were supposed to be my family, and supposed to love me. I’ve had some of the most important people to me walk out, and never speak to me again for no reason other than they just deeming it was important enough. I have had my heart broken by complete acts of just malicious words.
And you reading this, I am sure can put yourself in the same position. Whether or not it was similar to my own experience, I know that you to have been hurt.
It’s true, that people will forget what you did and what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I’m sure you’re right now, thinking back to a time where you were hurt. Where someone said or did something that just made your stomach churn. Someone said or did something to you that just didn’t seem fair. It was so wrong. It made your whole body hurt because you felt so overcome with sadness.
And that feeling sucks.
It sucks thinking about a time that you want to forget. It sucks re-living memories of complete and utter negative emotion.
But as followers of Christ, we are forgiven. We understand that in each day of our life, theres a huge chance that we sin in one way or another. As followers of Christ, we understand that Jesus got up and died on that cross for our sins so we could live a life of walking in freedom and grace from Him. We have been forgiven for what we have already done, what we’re doing right now, and what we’e going to do.
Matthew 18:21-35 is The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
In short, a king wanted to settle some things with his servants. A man who owed the king ten thousand bags of gold was brought to the master. He got there, and was unable to pay it and as a punishment he and his wife and children and all that he had was to be sold to pay for the debt. The servant then got on his knees and begged for pity and patience. The master took this request and let him go. That servant then went back out into his own little world where he came across another man who owed him a hundred silver coins. And man oh man, he was mad. The bible says that he began to choke the other man, demanding that he pay back what he owes. When the man said he had nothing to pay back, the servant, who indeed was just forgiven for the same thing, decided that it was not ok for this man to not pay him back and had the man thrown into prison.
Well others found out, and realized how incredibly bogus this man was being and went to the master, explaining what had just happened. Needless to say, the master was appalled saying:
“You wicked servant, I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18:32-25).
As followers of Christ, forgiveness is essential to live the life Jesus has called you to.
A lot of the times, it’s hard to remember that.
One night, back in the day I had a nice evening at one of my favorite places to eat: Buffalo Wild Wings. I ordered my usual small order, half sweet barbecue, half honey barbecue. I usually am able to eat the whole thing, but I decided that I wanted to save a few to take to lunch the next day. Cold Buffalo Wild Wings is actually extremely good. I treasure the times I am able to have immense self control and save some for later.
The next morning, I woke up excited as ever to throw my good ol’ BDubs into my lunch bag and how pumped I was to eat them halfway through my miserable school day.
I remember how I felt when I opened the fridge and they were just gone. I was freaking out. I looked in the inside fridge AND the outside fridge at least 10 times each until I just accepted the fact that in our house, there is a thief. Someone stole my precious boneless wings.
Naturally, (I also might be slightly dramatic) I was freaking out. I ran to find my mom to make sure she could call 911 and let them know we had been robbed.
I remember what it felt like to have my mom look me in the eye and say “Derek took them to lunch.”
It hurt. It still hurts.
I know in the moment of things that bother me, I get so entirely caught up in my feelings. I get caught up in thinking how bad it hurts. Sometimes, it even hurts so bad that I get caught up in thinking what I can do to get revenge on the person who hurt me.
In the moment I discovered my favorite meal being missing from the place I had put it in the fridge, I was instantly heated. I was sad because now I had to make a lunch. I was frustrated because He didn’t ask to eat my beloved boneless wings, He just took them. I wanted to, and I actually probably did, pick up the phone and instantly freak out on his unwanted behavior. I know that the first thing I looked to do was find something that he likes to eat, so I could take it and eat it all.
Yeah, that really would show him wouldn’t it? Take that, Dad.
But at the end of the day, I have to sit down and mull over what happened and most importantly, come to terms with understanding how much I myself have been forgiven. When we aren’t forgiving of those who have wronged us and we look to seek revenge, we are right in line with the enemy.
If I were to go out of my way to hurt his feelings to, I would have been getting right on his level. I would be stooping down to inflict the same pain he had inflicted on me.
Matthew 6:14 says this:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others for their sins, your Father will not forgive you.”
As followers of Christ, we need to remember our purpose. Our purpose is to be more like Jesus. Our purpose on this planet is to treat others the way He has treated them.
Our purpose is not to decide their fate. Our purpose here is not to make them miserable.
Our purpose is to show them the same love we experience through The Lord, even if they don’t know who exactly Jesus is, we are here to help them understand it. The Lord showed us His love by dying on that cross. An unfailing, undying and unrelenting love. And while we’re here on Earth, we must do the same.
How crazy would it be if someone did the unimaginable to you. They even know that what they did to you was incredibly wrong and they thought that there was no chance for reconcellation between you, and you were able to look at them and say that you forgive them. That it’s ok. That you still love them.
Boom. The power of Jesus is literally radiating off of you and into their heart and into their mind. They may not recognize what is happening, but the Holy Spirit knows what going on with it.
Show the love, be the light and initate the reconciliation even when you don’t care to.
Forgiven people FORGIVE, even when it’s hard.
