Up until now, this blog has been mostly about sharing the nitty gritty of ministry and life out here on the field. I’ve done that mostly through photos and short stories of what a typical day in ______________
{fill in the blank} country is like, and through videos and “book reports”.
It’s been good, and it’s been real.
But as I was “flipping” back through all that I’ve written thus far, I realized I haven’t really addressed matters of the heart, or the deep things the Lord is teaching me.
You see, He teaches me in so many ways: through people, both on my squad and in total strangers. He teaches me through music and worship, in complete silence, through the chaos and noise, and in His word. He teaches me in the pain and heartache and bitterness and confusion about relationships, friendships, and family that I’m currently walking through. He teaches me in all the ways He keeps providing {read my recent blog titled “God is Nuts! A Support Update”} to read about how He’s met me with all that I need financially this year. He really is nuts, in the best possible way.
Mostly, though, He’s teaching me through the lack.
My lack.
The things I am lacking.
I’m realizing I lack many of the Fruits of the Spirit, or as I like to call them,
“The Fruity Pebbles”.
I’m serious.
These gifts that are offered freely to us by God’s Spirit, which lives inside of us, are rich and full; they are seemingly little, insignificant pebbles, but they can greatly change our lives and hearts. In case you’ve never heard of them, {I hadn’t until a few years ago}, here they are:
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self-Control.
{Galatians 5:22}
Oh, my word. As I look at that list, I realize my lack.
I realize the ways in which my flesh has won, and how I am enslaving myself when I gratify its desires.
On any given day, I do what I want.
I think how I want.
I act according to my emotions or “feelings”.
And I shut down when I don’t get what I want.
In many ways, I’m still such a child in my faith, and while that is hard to admit, and while it is convicting, it’s time to be honest about it.
As I have grown over the last 5 months of the Race, God has gently revealed my lack to me {gently, because that’s one of His fruits} and He wants to show me that I can possess and practice the very same gentleness as well. Praise Him because He doesn’t allow us to remain sitting in our junk, but calls us up into greatness! {In my humble opinion, "greatness" should be added to the list as the tenth pebble. Just sayin’.} Praise Him because He never allows us to stop growing and maturing in our faith until the day we die.
And because He lacks none of the pebbles, but instead is the very source of each of them, I’ve really begun to contemplate what my life could look like if I filled up my bowl each morning with some “Fruity Pebbles” and drank of His Word.
Nine great gifts, and He wants to give them abundantly to those who ask or seek.
He tells us that those who choose to seek Him will
“lack no good thing”.
{Psalm 34:10}
So let me tell ya, I am asking daily.
I’m getting out my bowl and setting it on the table.
And I’m asking that He would fill it and replace my lack with all the things I need to truly walk in freedom with Him.
Consider this the start of a new serious of 9 blogs, one about each Fruit.
As I learn more, and develop in one pebble at a time, you’ll hear about it.
{Hope you're as excited as I am.}
