Everyone that knows anything about the World Race knows that at some point on this trip, you will have to preach a sermon. Everyone has to do it at some point. Especially in Africa!
Well, somehow after 10 1/2 months (3 of those being in Africa), attending around 68 church services, and listening to countless sermons by my teammates, I have managed to give 0, I repeat ZERO sermons.
Truthfully, I am TERRIFIED of speaking in front of an audience. But equally as true, I haven’t thought that God has really cared if I did speak in front of people. All I really wanted to do was love people. Pure and simply love people, and that is truly what I thought and think God wants me to do too.
There were times when I would try. In Rwanda one time, I felt obligated to because it was my “turn”. All of my teammates had already spoken, so I needed to. I didn’t want to. I didn’t even think that I should. I really just wanted to sit in the audience with the children and hold them, hug them, smile at them, be surrounded by them. But I felt obligated. So, I said I would do it. I was a wreck. I was a mess for a couple days before hand. I couldn’t even be nice to the kids that I wanted to love so much because I was SO scared of speaking in a few days. Thankfully, two of my teammates understood and told me not to do it. They would speak instead of me any time it was my “turn”. They were so encouraging, so kind. They understood my heart, that I really wanted to love these children, and they thought I was good at it. They also understood my fear of speaking as well.
There were other times when I would feel guilty for never preaching, even though I didn’t feel like I should do it, so I would volunteer or plan to volunteer. And EVERY time either the service would be cancelled, or someone would tell me not to do it out of obligation.
And then we left Africa.
I was SO excited to leave Africa. I was tired of church ministry. That wasn’t the reason I came on this trip. I wanted to work with sex trafficking, prostitutes, teach English, work with street kids, or help in orphanages. Those are the reasons I came, not to speak in front of people in church or even attend church 68 times!
I thought I was safe. Two months left of the World Race. Nepal and India. I was sure I was done with church ministry. Nepal. Build an orphanage and help with a soccer tournament. Excellent, I am safe and get to do things that I enjoy.
And then came India. I was confident I wouldn’t be preaching here in this Hindu country. India was the country I had most wanted to come to on this trip. I had wanted to work with sex trafficking so badly here and/or help at an orphanage. I was SO convinced that is what I would be doing. But I am not. Many teams are working with orphanages, but not ours. Our team is doing all church type things! We visit villages in the area and preach, teach Sunday School, and pray for people. All church. Not exactly what I had planned for the last month of this trip. I was disappointed. Everything about this month is great. Our hosts are great, the living situation is great, the food is great, the people are great, but I was disappointed. This is not what I had hoped for, this is not what I planned.
I have said that what I really want to do is love people, truly love them. There was a time in Africa that the thought (and the thought was probably from God) came to my mind, “What if, one of these times, the most loving thing to do IS to preach to these people, speak in front of the church, would you do it?”…. That made me quite scared, but I truly hoped my answer would be yes.
Well, that time has come. 10 1/2 months into this trip and I gave my first sermon ever in front of a church in a small village in India. It might have only been 11 minutes long, but it happened. I was terrified. I might have cried a little. My teammates were SO encouraging. And, I knew I was supposed to do it. I think it was the most loving thing. Whether that loving thing was towards the people of the village, or towards my teammates, or towards myself, I am not sure, but I know it was the most loving thing.
And I thought I was safe leaving Africa…
(by the way, two days before I preached, I had finally come to peace with the fact that this was our ministry. I knew God had me doing this for a reason, and it was going to be okay. Two or so hours after I felt that peace, I found out we will be working with an orphanage at the end of the month!!!!
As they say in India, “Wondanalu” (Praise the Lord) 
My amazing, understanding teammates in Rwanda dressed in traditional Rwandan clothing.
Some of the wonderful children in Rwanda with our team.
The audience I gave my first sermon to in a village in India.
Some children in the village. This little girl is SO sweet. She was the face I looked at in the audience to get me through the church service. And when I say "this little girl", I am talking about the one on the left. They are BOTH little girls! Who would have thought!
Justin, Nicole, Zach, Me, and Anjali. My incredible, encouraging team with our hosts, Surya & Lilly at some waterfalls in India.
