The power of life and death are in the tongue. Words. That thing that God has been chiseling away at since I came to know Jesus. Speaking to me through the book of James, letters from the apostle Paul, Proverbs, and every word of Jesus. Oh, and the Holy Spirit. How to speak. How not to speak. The purpose of my tongue. For building up and encouraging, strengthening, comforting, and refining others. Speaking into others’ lives. Tenderness. Gentleness. Speaking life. Yet saying the hard things that need to be said because they are what someone needs to hear… even if they don’t want to hear them.
But if you’re like me, sometimes you find that your mouth goes ahead of your brain. (I know this surprises all of you. Get over the shock and let’s move on.) Against your better judgment, you say what’s popped in your head without discerning if you should say it or not. You’re words are not necessarily bad, just not good. Yep, me too.
I have seen how my words matter more through squad leading than any other time in my life. And when I started to really see how my words matter, God started speaking to me more than normal about what I speak to others. He told me to “Speak less, and say more.” Impact. Influence. Don’t just speak words. But fill the atmosphere… with words that matter. Move people. Engage them. Challenge them. Build them up. Encourage them. Change them. Love them.
Sometimes it means speaking hard words, but not harsh words. Yet sometimes, I confuse the difference.
For a long time now, I’ve witnessed God work through the words that I speak. Praying a genuine surrender of my tongue to the building up of the body of Christ, asking Him to bless others through the words I say. Praying to speak true things. Rounding up month 4 in South Africa, I reflected on my communication. Speaking with intentionality. Speaking into what it looks like between a variety of relationships to make genuine peace instead of avoiding conflict and keeping a false peace. Encouraging healthy conflict so there can be fruitfulness at the end of it. Kindness.
However, a few weeks ago, I had a disgusting, uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach for a few days. That feeling… the conviction of the Holy Spirit. For what? My words. Not mean, but not always kind. Sarcasm. Humor at another’s expense. Words that were potentially cutting or insensitive to another. And I was distraught by my own tongue.
While the apostle Paul was in prison, he wrote a letter to the church in Philippi. Encouraging the church on how to pray and what to focus their minds on. And to follow his example. He writes, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.” I was stunned in my proverbial tracks. My words over the last few days had NOT been ones that I would want anyone to follow and put into practice for themselves. As a leader, the weight is greater. And I felt it. Lead by example. “Follow me as I follow Christ”… I couldn’t say that regarding this area of my life. I cried to the Lord. I sought His forgiveness. But I knew that the harder humility was coming… to confess and ask for forgiveness from the racers that I was with that past week.
A few months ago, it dawned on me that saying “I’m sorry” is nowhere in the bible. Seeking forgiveness is. Telling someone “It’s okay” or “No problem” is not the response Jesus commands. Forgiveness is. Apology takes on a new meaning when it’s about forgiveness, not just admitting wrong. The humbling act of asking someone else for something, not just taking care of my part of apology. And to challenge the ones who I may have hurt to follow the commands of the Lord and actually forgive. And move on.
God has also been speaking to me much about using whatever gifts I have so this squad can grow in intimacy and maturity in the Lord. To bring my little fish and loaves to him. Submit. I am no master guitar player. No prized singer. No professional speaker. But the platform I stand on as a leader challenges me to extend myself in example so that they’ll do the same. To truly follow what Jesus calls us to do. Out of what is comfortable. For me, He was putting worship on my heart. Leading these two teams in worship. And use that as the meeting and open door to confess and seek forgiveness. So hard. So uncomfortable. Yet such peace. I did. And it was good. God has worked on me in such amazing ways to bring me to a place where seeking forgiveness when I see my error is not so difficult. Not easy, but not hard. He’s brought me to a place where I can do it because I know the fruit and peace that awaits the other side of the conversation. He came through no less this time than any other time. My squad saw me recognize my humanity, even in a position of leadership. He affirmed that this is something that I could say, “put it into practice.” Humbling. And so good.
I am learning more and more in this season of Squad Leading that humility of ourselves, lowering ourselves under another, is what being a leader is all about. A servant leader. To raise others up. The greatest leaders can be followed for what they do, not what they say. It challenges me to lead by example. Whether you are a “leader” or just someone who lives life alongside others, people watch what you do. They hear what you say. How are you using your words? What are you leading them to do?
