I can be independent this month!!! I just came back from a run on the beach and my heart is happy! This month I can actually walk down the stretch of the beach and be by myself for a while and it's been super lovely. Today is my team's domestic day so after milling oatmeal (that's right, I milled it myself), preparing breakfast, and doing my laundry, I got to go for a run. By myself. Along the Caribbean Sea shore. Such a beautiful sight along the sounds of the waves crashing. In a culture such as 'the race' when you must always be with at least one other person, the freedom to be alone is such a gift. My tent provides that. Alone time on the beach provides that. And now my run today provides that. To be honest I've had a rough time finding time and motivation to work out when I have so few hours in the day to do something for myself. Before leaving for the race, I resolved within myself that if I have to choose spending my time with Jesus or working out/running, I would choose my one-on-one time with Jesus. I have had to surrender working out often and while it has been hard, it's been worth it. My 5:00am wake up time to read my bible and pray on the beach while watching every different sunrises God gives me to look at has been amazing. I have remembered what I had forgotten, that every good and perfect gift comes from God above, the Father of lights, who is unchanging. One of His gifts to my squad and I is the place we live. I can not describe to you how grateful I am to have such a beautiful, closed off place to come to after a long day of working and being drained from the sun. To relax and just… be. I thank God for this particular good gift this month. You have no idea how much I love living here!
On another note, I have been affirmed what I had already assumed… doing construction work is definitely not my favorite thing to do. Yesterday I spent 6 hours moving bricks. Horribly. Large. Heavy. Bricks. From one location to another. Just to have to move them again and stack them. Something I've seen in Haiti… if there is an efficient way to do something, that is not what they will do here. We move things from one place to another often. We form bucket brigades instead of dumping concrete out of the truck. Rocks and sand are shoveled out of the truck that brings them to the nearest location it can back up into… even if it's in the way of everything else. Inefficiency. Annoying. Yet, this is where I am and what I am doing. I now refer to anything that I anyone does with the least amount of efficiency as “that's so Haiti”. People's hands are cut up from moving buckets all day long on the bucket brigade days. But, God has been reminding me every single day that “it's not all about me”. My life is not all about me. My time here is not all about me. I love the fact that I have a hand in building something that will reach further generations here in Haiti. That I am literally laying the foundation of something that will be used to educate the uneducated, providing them with more opportunities. A group of 16 year old boys pulled me aside one day at the construction site and asked if I would pray for them. They want to be engineers and geologists but the schooling here isn't good and they don't know what they'll be able to do with their lives. I am building something that will practically influence their lives. And while I don't enjoy being stuck out in the hot sun all day, working hard and having to pull myself away to take breaks so I don't become dehydrated, I also love that God has given me a way to make a difference here. A real difference. To build something that will provide something valuable and life changing that the people want and need. It's not all about me. When I came on the race, I prayed and decided to give myself away… and I am.
Few more bullet points and updates:
I have missed church, a lot. But all is well this month because we are putting on church sunday nights… worship and the message. So I heard a message in English and songs in english this past Sunday and it blessed me soooo much. It's hard to feel connected to a service when you don't understand the language. But yay for Pastor Lex inviting us to do this.
Jumping in the ocean, still fully clothed after a long day's work is becoming the norm.
I have found a pair of goggles so am excited to go for a real swim instead of just hanging out in the water looking like a bobble-head with everyone else.
Jellyfish are known to make themselves known after 4:00 pm so we are sure to be out of the water by then. (However, they don't know what time it is and don't play by our rules so I'm sure they could sting us any time they wanted. But so far, so good.)
I am enjoying being around the whole squad. If you had told me at training camp when I met everyone that I would enjoy it as much as I do, I would have probably told you that was ridiculous. Everyone was way too excited, loud, and peppy. But by now, people have gotten to know each other, are not always rambunxious, are more chill, and have developed a healthy respect for everyone needing alone time away from all 45 of everyone else. I am finding a good balance between spending time with people. Playing Rummy Cube, watching episodes of Glee that I had downloaded, and having spontaneous dance parties with a few others from the squad have been fun moments of the last week I've enjoyed with others. But my morning quiet times with God as well as other times in the evening, hiding away to read The Hunger Games series I'm borrowing from someone, and taking someone's guitar out to the beach to play alone are some of my favorite solitude times of this past week. I am finding trust in my teammates Reagan Taylor and Rebekah Clark the most which is leading to great conversations about life, the seasons we are in, struggles and strengths, and opening up more as time goes by with the people on my team.
I was able to get a nutrageous, small stack of pringles, and 2 small bags of cookies to snack on here. Yum for the little things that make me smile. All in all, I am glad. Very glad.
