Months of anticipation, heartache, joy, prayer, and preparation have all led up to this day. I left my family and friends (of which I have felt loved by so many during this time of many good-byes, or what some prefer to call see-you-laters) and am writing this while on my third and final flight of the day to arrive in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to meet up with my squad to do whatever the race has planned for us then fly to our first country in a few days. The Dominican Republic. I am emotionally drained and am fortunate to have the entire row on this flight all to myself 🙂 My bag weighs more than I wanted it to and I am already thinking of things to get rid of as soon as I touch down tonight. I’m already grateful that I brought my guitelele instead of my guitar as I rush to make my connecting flights. I’m looking forward to seeing my squad again after meeting them all at training camp last October, and my teammates who I will be living with for at the least the beginning of the race. And I’m anxious to be done with flying… at least for a few days. (I guess this is my new life.)
My first thought… I have no one from home to talk to! No cell phone. I already have some stories I’d want to share if I could… about the woman I sat next to on the previous flight and our conversation about deafness. How last night I thought I was saying good-bye to my barely 2 year old nephew Hunter but my family surprised me by bringing him to the airport today to see me off and we played the game that he and I share even there in the airport. How my friend Dianna surprised me with a letter that I had to wait until I was in the air to open, with numerous Scriptures to look to for strength and power and pictures of me and good friends to keep with me and look at while I’m gone this year. And how it’s a miracle that I’ve made all of my flights considering that my lay-overs were only 35 and 40 minutes long… and I got to eat! But, I have no one to call. I can’t just pick up the phone and tell or text anyone about my moments anymore. All of our conversation of these things will be delayed. That’s actually incredibly hard for me to realize at this moment. I want instant conversations; communication. But I said good-bye to that 🙁
Saying my many good-byes was hard, but oh so good. I’m ready. I’m ready for the World Race. I believe that God is going to do an incredible healing in me. This past year has been scattered with loss and heartache, (as well as joy and growing relationships that I cherish), but has led to this. This new season. I know that it’s not forever, not my new life. But for a season, it is. The various cultures. People groups. Foods. Clothing. Languages. Terrain. Travel. Morals and norms. I’m going to be an outsider. With a team of outsiders. The only ones who will share my culture, my language, my faith, and my norms. I’m excited but nervous at the same time for that. But I’m so ready. I’m ready to find gain in my loss. Faith in my doubt. Healing in my wounds. A friend of mine donated an incredibly large sum of money, just to me. For me. To enjoy. And beyond being grateful, I am humbled and amazed. God has made raising support for the race rather easy. Opened every door. And granted me all that I’ve needed. And above and beyond, people have donated just to me personally to enjoy this season to the fullest. I cry because it’s more and more affirmation that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Going. And more than that, God is going to use me. He would not send me so easily just to have me sit and twiddle my thumbs and just enjoy the world. No. He is going to use me to change the world. My dearest friend Jessica gave me a ring for Christmas with the quote inscribed all around it, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” knowing that for years this is my favorite quote. I have worn it every day since and it’s going around the world with me, reminding me that my purpose is to be a vessel that God uses to change it. He is sending me and my team to do something about the darkness, hopelessness and destruction of His children. I am going to be that change. And I’m on my way now. I’m going, going… gone.
Sidenote:
(Although as I post this the one day after arriving, my stomach is in complete knots… Lord, is this really for me? I have to remember all of His promises and His ease in sending me here… and how He’ll use me. Pray I don’t forget.)
