who's running the show
and what really matters,
but I keep picking a fight
with letting go
and keep getting hammered…"**
I've had this portion of this song stuck in my head for the past few weeks… And the only thing I can think is how completely I can relate to it.
Why?
Because I am one of THOSE people…
You know who I'm talking about. The ones who hate being bored and therefore are involved in EVERYTHING. That's me. I have been told by multiple friends that they'd rather not hear my "To Do " list/schedule because just hearing it makes them tired…
What's worse is (if I'm completely honest with myself) I don't just like to be inolved in things, I usually end up in charge of some part of it. I don't necessarily try to take on extra responsiblity, but I don't back away from it. In large part because I'm bad with the word "No", unless it's follow by "I don't mind doing _____________." And once involved (or in charge), I have trouble letting go of that responsibility. The biggest drawback to this habit? It IS possible to say "yes" to too much, to be too involved, to be TOO BUSY. And the end result is getting hammered (metaphorically and physically).
However…
Preparing to go on the World Race is forcing me to let go of some of these responsibilities. I have to be ready to let go of the clubs and teams I sponsor at school… and to let go of trying to find someone to take them over. I have to let go of worries about finances and fundraising and know that God has it covered. I have to let go of not liking to be still because that is when He is easiest to hear.
Help me understand
It's not how I fall
But where I land…"
And that's where I am. Working on allowing myself to fall so that I can land where He is leading me… Working on letting go.
**Song is "You Know Better" by MercyMe
