2014 has started off to be a hard year. I came into it with the resolution to finally stop biting my nails. Well, that only lasted a few weeks and then went to live in the hopeless pit where all of the other dead resolutions reside. Only a short few days into the New Year I became a statistic by breaking up with my ex-boyfriend back in America. You know the statistic about how so many relationships actually make it the whole 11 months, yeah that one. Our squad started the Race with only three people in a relationship back home and now there is one couple remaining. The other girl (whom is a victim of a World Race breakup) and I sometimes have girls nights involving wine, laughter and lots of talk about our ex’s. I guess you can call it therapy as there is no real therapist around that speaks English.
After I became single I found out about struggles my little sister was going through back home. It wrecked me and being in Thailand while watching her deal with it all made me feel helpless. I looked at flights home, but thankfully I had some sense talked into me and by our squad coaches and decided to give the situation up to the Lord. It was extremely hard to throw my hands up and tell God to take it, but I did it and I didn’t see rewards like I thought I would have. I thought my parents would have stepped in, but they didn’t. I was angry, confused and out for blood. I made a bold move to trust God and saw nothing happen. I had food poising that night and was sick, over heated and tired. I pooped my pants three times and vomited twice, I was done. I verbally called God out, but He didn’t answer! The next day I found out that my dad was losing his job and with it our family health insurance. I haven’t seen a dentist going on a year… I need my teeth cleaned, and what about these foot pains that I have been having?? This can’t be happening.
As some of you know already, I don’t like sharing my problems. I don’t like showing my brokenness and I don’t like pity parties. God wrecked so much of my life in three months that I was broken to the point of doing something that only wrecking me that much would do, open up. I opened up to my new team, my best friends, even… my squad. I allowed people to be a part of my grieving, and you know what, I saw amazing things come from it. People started reaching out to me, asking me how they could pray for me and how I was doing. It was humbling. God definitely did a lot of breaking down, but my friends, strangers and even God himself have all been helping me rebuild a stronger foundation. I am still in the process of being put back together and have a long way to go, but praise the Lord for the foundation that He has already created out of all the broken pieces. Praise God for caring so much about me that He is putting the effort in to help me live the life that He has planned for me. He is taking things away from my life to only fill the voids with something more satisfying, Him.
This is where I leave you for now friends. I’m not going to lie, being wrecked sucks more than a lollipop, but being rebuilt is sweeter than well . . . a lollipop! Wreckage and suffering is sure to come in everyone’s life, in fact the bible guarantees it, but when you have God He will pull you through it and shoot you out a more shiny person!
