During the past few weeks I have been sitting on some very hard, crazy decisions as I continue to strive for what God has for me. Many of these decisions involve moving away from home, going to a new place to begin preparing for where God wants me to be indefinitely. I keep asking questions to myself: Where will I live? How will I get income? What will people think? What about my family? What if I fail? These questions are clockwork in my mind, a constant ticking that can become annoying and overwhelming. It is safe to say it is a constant battle.
All these questions have been making think about what I have been reading in scripture lately as well. I have been reading Joshua, the conquerer of the promise land. He had to face many trials, going into a land he did not know. I am sure he was afraid, but Joshua had one huge attribute, bravery. In the midst of dangerous and frightening circumstances, Joshua staked everything in God who promised them victory in the Promise Land. It wasn’t an instantaneous thing, it was progressively built. Each victory built up the bravery inside of Joshua, making him stronger.
So how can I apply that to myself? He conquered cities, split waters, and made the sun stand still. He had powerful moments where bravery seems to thrive. What am I doing that can compare?
One thing I have been learning though is that God builds bravery in all of us through different circumstances. For myself, it is each small step I am taking to get to where God wants me. Right now that is speaking with donors and moving up to Gainesville. It is God nudging me into a conversation or a phone call to apply for a job. Each time I do this the clockwork questions begin to quiet and I start to see bravery building in my life. The small moments are actually just the same as conquering cities was to Joshua. I am building confidence and bravery each time I take a small step, and they make a large impact. I won’t let fear hold me back from moving toward where God is pointing me. I walk bravely because He guides me, and I build up bravery each day.
I am still looking for donors and would love to talk to you more about what God is doing in my life. If you want to know more, contact me anytime. My first deadline is $1950 to start CGA in September. Any donation is greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your love and support.
