It started out like any other African Tuesday. I woke up
around 7:30 in between two of my teammates in our three person tent inside our
crowded room in Busia, Kenya. I spent
some time with the Lord in the living room and probably ate a fabulous pancake
prepared by our wonderful Chef Lucas. And then headed out around 10:30 to my
first and hopefully only African funeral.
The night before we had been told by our contact that a girl
had passed away on Sunday and that her sister attended his church, so we were
going to possibly be a part of the girl’s funeral service. Well that Tuesday
morning we were told that another church in town was handling the funeral so we
did not need to go but the invitation was still open if we wanted to.
A handful of us decided to go. We were not particularly excited to go to the
funeral but the cultural experience was enticing and out of respect to our
contact who was still going; we went.
The funeral was different but similar. There was a viewing
of the casket, there were speeches and prayers said. All of the girl’s classmates were there, so
they sang and even had an active role in the proceedings.
Nothing from that was too life changing or altering. But the way the girl died stuck with me.
Her sister spoke at the beginning of the service about how
the young girl of 13 had passed away. It turns out that the Thursday or Friday
before she had fallen or hit something at school. She complained of pain and
was given a mild pain killer. The following day the pain was still there so she
was taken to the hospital. Unfortunately for her and the other patients in the
hospital the power was out, so the doctors were unable to evaluate her thoroughly. So they continued treating her with mild pain
killers. By Sunday she was dead. It turns out that she had internal bleeding
that was not seen because of the lack of electricity during her initial
observations.
Later that day after the funeral we went to the
hospital. We had gone a couple of times
the week before and that Tuesday was another hospital visit day. My teammate Logan and I went straight to the
pediatric ward to visit our friend Benjamin.
The second we entered the ward I sensed a heaviness in the room. Benjamin our friend is a 4 year old boy
suffering of malnutrition. He looks like he is an 8 month old baby because of
his lack of nutrition and growth. We had
met him the week before and he captured our hearts. This Tuesday however, he
looked worse than we had ever seen him.
He was unable to open either of his eyes and continued to grimace in
pain as we sat with him and his mother.
While we were visiting Benjamin trying to figure out how we
could get him to eat and evaluating his treatment options, another child in the
ward died. All of a sudden the heaviness of the room got even thicker as
wailing filled the room. The deceased child’s mother wailed as her baby was
announced dead and taken out of the room.
The heaviness of the day left me numb. I left the hospital unable to shake the
experiences that I had encountered.
Death, dying and death.
Hopelessness, frustration and brokenness.
I could not shake the heaviness of the day. Those feelings lingered in my heart and
spirit. I felt unable to laugh or
experience joy. I felt out of place in the world around me. Seeing the things I
had, knowing the things I now know. How
am I supposed to go on with life knowing these things, seeing the injustice,
hopelessness and death of this world?
As I dealt with my overwhelmed emotions I realized that I
cannot go back to the way things were before. There was no turning back. I have
seen, I have heard and I have loved those who are dying and are unseen. I cannot and will not forget them.
As I processed my emotions I was reminded through the Lord
and those around me that God is still good, faithful and loving. That He is the
God of justice, love and life. Yes, there is death but to take heart because He
has overcome the world.
My life will never be the same after that day. I mean how
could it?
I am blessed that our God is the God of justice and that He
allows us to have an active role in His plan.
My prayer now is that the Lord will continue to reveal to me the role
that He has for me in His kingdom. How I can better love those around me and
serve Him fully. I am forever changed by
this experience and I am more than ok with it.
I can truly say that my heart break for what breaks His
heart. And for that I am eternally grateful.
“The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the
oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”
Psalm 103:6-8
