Have you ever had a hard time knowing what God is saying to you in a moment?
I have a few time lately. I realized the other day that I incorrectly discerned what God was saying, and I ended up hurting someone because of it. I confided with my roommate that I just didn’t think I could actually hear God at all (kinda dramatic, I know.) She said, “That’s a lie.” And I said, “Yeah, I know.” But I described how frustrating it is when I honestly try to listen and obey and I fail. I heard part of it, but got too nervous to sit and listen to the rest when I didn’t hear something immediately. And then I really messed it up (I know in the grand scheme of things I didn’t mess anything up, nor could I, but in my head at the time, it seemed like it.)
The next day I was talking to God, and I thought he said that I should deactivate my Facebook account, so I did. The next morning in worship track, the speaker told us that we would be going into town to practice listening to God, and he emphasized the importance of shutting off social media. God reminded me of what I thought he told me to do. He said, “you do hear me.”
On the drive to the town square I prayed, and the same phrase kept coming to mind, “you do hear me.”
When we got to the square, I stepped out of my car and immediately I thought of someone to talk to and where to find them, but I thought someone else in my group might be getting some idea of where we should go. When no one said anything, I suggested the place that I thought of and told them we were looking for a woman to pray for. We went inside the store, and I knew that the woman shopping was the one God wanted us to pray for, but it took me a minute to gain some courage. I said to the people with me, “Should I go talk to her?” and they said, “go ahead.”
She was looking at some scarves at the front of the store. I said, “Hi, how are you doing?” Like I was working there or something. She replied, “I’m fine, thanks!” And it seemed like she just wanted to shop. I pretended to be interested in buying a scarf (unconvincingly, I’m sure). I felt like God was telling me to just go ahead and ask her if there was something I could pray with her for.
“I know this sounds strange, but is there something I can pray with you for?” I said.
She replied, “Why did you ask me that?”
“Well, I was standing on the other side of the road and I thought God was telling me to go and pray with you here.”
“I knew that God sent you to me. This morning I found out my husband is very sick.”
I stood speechless for a moment, struck with heaviness. I told her that God did send me, because he loves her so much he designed a way for people who did not even know her to come and pray for her husband with her.
The rest of the gang came in, and I said, “Oh, these are my friends…”
She was concerned that maybe the store manager might not like for us to pray in the store (we were a decent-sized group at that point), but the store manager decided to come and pray with us.
We left the store amazed and thankful. Next, we decided to take a walk around the square. When we almost made it around, a car stopped beside us. The man inside motioned for us to come over to him. He said, “Did you just pray with my wife? I’m the man you prayed for. I wanted to thank you for letting the Holy Spirit lead you.”
We then returned to where I parked. We stood in a circle and prayed again for the man and praised God. We sang the Doxology and then got some cupcakes to celebrate.
God wants to speak to me all the time, not just when assigned in class to go to the town square and ask God what I should do. I make it complicated a lot of times. My problem is that I’ve tried to understand him, but he asks me to know him.
I just have to admit it:
You speak to me, and I do hear you.
