(This is my second attempt to write this blog post. I was almost done proclaiming Christ's victory over satan and the ENTIRE blog was deleted… Nice try, satan!)
(Here we go again…)
Satan, who do you think you are?!
This thought runs through my mind often. Typically after I have wrestled with satan and all his lies for far longer than was necessary. Why do I fall into his traps so easily?!
Not too long ago, I was filling out the "about me" section. After finishing, I thought it would be fun to begin scoping out the September 2012 squad. I began to read blog posts, "about me's", looking at pictures, etc.
(do you think I'm creepy yet… but I thought we were suppose to begin stalking each other… ?!)
Instead of praising the Lord for each story read, I began comparing myself. In a very self-condemning way.
(<<insert satan here>>)
All of a sudden, I went from super excited about how the Lord was going to use each of us individually and our squad as one, to asking myself why I thought I was good enough to be a part of something so beautifully crafted by God.
Satan started attacking my insecurities.
(I realize that this is my first blog and y'all don't know me, but I'm about to get real personal.)
Something that I struggle so deeply with is comparing myself to others. Something that satan uses so strongly against me is my tendency to compare myself to others. For some reason, I can see the beauty God designed in others, but am incapable of looking in the mirror and seeing the beauty God designed within me.
In my "about me" I talked about how my best friend constantly reminds me that God is purposeful.
Well, a reason for that is my blindness to God's purpose in my own life.
I can feel my Daddy trying to break into that room of lies I have myself trapped in.
There is a constant battle raging inside of my soul.
God vs. Satan.
And of course we all know who wins that one!
God! duh!
Why is my heart unable to believe in that?!
Why is my heart unable to rest in the victory of Christ?!
God has His hands full with this girl!
(Side note: the Lord has blessed me with some pretty fantastic friends! He has taught me innumerable lessons through their words and daily living. This is one of those things…)
A year ago, I was given the opportunity to live with one of my very best friends, Katie. She and I would sit outside our rooms, on the stair landing, at an unreasonable hour, talking about everything that had gone on that day. Some of my most cherished moments happened during that time: both half asleep (most likely crying) and spilling our hearts out. Something that we did was talk about all the lies that we were believing and replacing them with God's truth.
(Such a powerful thing!! I recommend it!)
Needless to say, the Spirit filled us and cleared out all that junk satan was trying to store up in our hearts.
We felt refreshed, loved, cherished, beautiful!
So, that is what I did just now.
While I was "stalking" these people I am going to race around the world with, and satan was trying to leave some of his junk in my heart, I began to replace lies with truth.
It always amazes me how worshipful you become when remembering who our God is!
He's pretty great…
I'd even go as far to say that I am deeply, passionately in love with Him…
God: won
Satan: 0
