Team changes are finally upon us this debrief. After 6 months together with the wonderful women I call sisters, we are changing teams to further promote growth and change. During this time of change, it will be a time of bittersweet transition. It’s like being a relationship with someone for a long period of time: you know everything about each other, you know their little habits, quirks, and passions. You know the things that make them upset, bring them joy, and make them laugh until they almost (or sometimes actually) pee their pants. You know the depths of their souls and the things that drive them to passion and action. You have things that annoy them, and there are things about them that annoy you. But all the same, you can’t imagine life without them. Your soul is literally connected to them, in a deep spiritual sense, it will never be broken. When that is changed, it’s almost like you forgot how to date (or in this sense, you just forgot how to start new with people). They have been so comfortable, so familiar, they know you in such a deep way that it is intimidating to think about having to let a whole new group of people into that part of you. This trust that has been built up over the past 6 months, 24/7, it’s something that you have to grieve.
To think about the fact that the last time that I was with the same people 24//7, every hour of the day, every sleeping moment of the night, was when I was probably a baby or toddler. Even growing up, you had school, or hanging out with friends, or other activities that made it impossible to be with the same person through all of that. Even with your parents, there were times where you weren’t always with them. In college with roommates, you have classes, work, and other commitments that separate you for a time. This is the longest time I have spent with the same people for every waking and sleeping hour of the day. The longest I’ve been surrounded by the same people, where we lived, slept, cooked, did ministry with day in and day out. We laughed together, we cried together. We went through conflict together. We went through major breakthroughs and victories together. We FOUGHT for each other. Those conversations we had sitting together, where hard conversations had to happen. Where we bore our souls to each other, the vulnerable part of our hearts that weren’t opened to anyone else. We pursued each other. We loved each other in deeper ways than I have ever been loved. What would happen if someone fully knew you? Well, with my sisters, it proved that they would fully LOVE me. The parts of myself that are messy, broken, dirty, selfish, falling apart, they pursued me still. The days that I couldn’t do anything because of sickness or just being emotionally unable to be present, they pursued me. They loved me. They bought me a pomegranate because they knew that it was therapeutic for me to peel the tiny seeds out in silence. My sisters fought for me in times where I didn’t know how to fight for myself. They gave me a place to not perform, but to just BE. To be who I was created to be, without having to do anything to gain their love or approval. There were no impure motives of selfishness or “equality” in our friendship because it was never about making things “equal”. They loved me unconditionally and look at our friendship as a “give and take” relationship. They loved me because I am human. They loved me because I simply breathe and exist, not because of anything I offer them. THAT my friends, is true fellowship. That is the way that Christ loves us. They have shown me more of Christ than I have ever seen before. They have pursued me in the way that Jesus pursues me.
Now, I want to share with you these beautiful sisters of mine:
Jesse Hines
She loves Americanos (black), adventure, word studies, running, veggies, and making people laugh. She pursues people like I have never seen before, and loves intentional conversations with people. She will talk to you for hours and ask you questions about your family, your passions, the things that set your heart on fire, and the things that bring you joy, simply because she wants to KNOW you. She is a total mountain girl and the extroverted version of me. She loves showing you the best new music, and has the rhythm of a goddess 😉 She loves the Lord and has such an intimate relationship with him that his love just flows out of every pore in her.
Blair Grace Guerry
Oh man, this girl is crazy but carries so much peace with her. I have LITERALLY seen the Lord transform every part of her since I first met her last August. She is wise, extremely sensitive to the little and delicate things of the world, and loves people so deeply. She loves puppies, cats (not sure why), babies, and flowers. She’s extremely creative and an amazing artist. We share a love of painting and the aesthetic side of the world. She will make you laugh until your stomach hurts, and give you wisdom and feedback that will only bring you growth.
Hannah Hoover
Patricia is her alter ego and is cousins with Ronnie (me) who are both from Long Island. She loves to cook (she’s the best cook you will ever meet). She is one of the most eloquent and classy people you will ever meet: anything that comes out of her mouth is straight from the mouth of a queen or something. She is intellectual and loves having deep conversations where she is sometimes skeptical and will question you until you don’t really know what you believe (in the best way). She is so wise and loves teaching people about the Lord and scripture. She loves her coffee, her punk alternative music, and deep appreciation for classical books.
Clarissa Johnson
She is one of the wisest and most disciplined people you will ever meet. She is extremely peaceful and carries a meekness about her that is so admirable. She knows who she belongs to, and she walks in that truth daily. She now recently loves chai tea lattes (not a big fan of black coffee-has to be sweet and full of cream), hates rollercoasters and snakes, loves the Oklahoma Thunder (she worked for them!), and watching sports in general. She always gets her veggies on the side, and loves intentional conversations. She loves people so well, and is so great at encouraging people.
Betsy Gottsacker
My fellow Minnesotan, loves everything about the state and talks in the most Minnesotan accents with me. She loves people so well, is intentional, and her love language is definitely quality time. She loves having a fun time, and is always down to go do something crazy. She is sensitive and bold. She always has like three beverages in front of her (usually a coffee drink, water, and coke zero). Bets likes to cuddle and always tries to force me to cuddle her back (physical touch is not my love language haha). She always sees people for who they are, and loves them right where they are.
Paige Harris
This beautiful woman became one of my best friends, she is someone that even at training camp I knew, “I want to be friends with her.” She is passionate, bold, meek, hilarious, sensitive, compassionate, and loves people better than anyone I’ve seen. She was raised up as one of our squad leaders back at the end of month 4 and I have missed her so so so much these past two months! She loves singing and playing her guitar (and I love singing with her). She loves black coffee, art, dogs, bubble tea, and laughing. She will (and has) spilt coffee and proceeded to make another cup before picking up the coffee on the floor because she loves it that much. She loves creating space to know the depths of people’s souls, but also the fun, shallow things as well. She is simple and she is beautiful!!
I love these girls more than life itself, and although it will be hard not being with them every day anymore, they all hold such a deep part of my heart with them. I love you ladies so much and everything that you are. You are BOLD, you are FIERCE, you are extremely DEPENDENT on the Lord. You love so well and have so much to offer this world and everyone you come in contact with. Even more than that though, you belong to the KING; you are HIS, and he is YOURS. You are precious and valued simply because you exist. Love you sisters <3
I will be posting again soon about my NEW TEAM for these next couple months! THEY ARE INCREDIBLE!
