“When my heart is faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”- Psalms 61:2
As most of you have noticed, I have not written a blog in almost 3 months. I haven’t been constant with fundraising & I haven’t been constant with my walk with the Lord lately. In November, donations began to slow down & I became extremely discouraged because of that. Everyone says when you are passionate about something, it will consume you to the point your heart is so on fire, that you can’t sleep & when I thought about the Race, I was not on fire anymore. I began questioning if this Race was meant for me, but God quickly reassured me that it was, but this may not be the right timing. When I think of the World Race, I think of traveling, loving on innocent children, helping the hurting, & praising the Lord. I think of the bonds I will make, adventures I will endure & I think of leaving in July. But, the question is, is July God’s time or MY time to leave?
Growing up, I was always told “God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” & when you are being told that at 14/15 years old, you kind of shrug it off & not think too much into it. I am now 24 years old & I am FINALLY understanding the true meaning of that quote. Everyone faces struggles daily. Bad day at work, the Flu, broken arm, losing a game, failing a test, etc; but no one REALLY prepares themselves for that & they certainly do not prepare themselves for life changing struggles.
I have been contemplating sharing this on any social media sites, but a lot of questions have been asked & I feel like a answer is deserved. During the months of November & December, when I began to lose my heart for the race, I was battling a lot of health issues that were some what confusing to myself, my family, & my doctor. A lot of test were ran & a lot of blood was drawn. But, God finally showed me why I was losing the fire for the Race. Not because it isn’t meant for me, but because even though I want so badly to launch in July, it isn’t his plan. He had a much bigger plan for me.
On December 27, 2014 I received the news that a malignant tumor has formed in my Posterior Communicating arty of my brain. I began & underwent my first round of treatment this morning. Now, before you question if I am okay, I am mentally. I know God has a bigger plan & story for me to live out, than I have for myself. He wouldn’t give me anything I can’t handle. This is his way of telling me “Hey Stephanie, I want to make sure you are truly ready to endure the race, so defeat this first.” My World Race launch date is now currently up in the air, but there WILL be one. It may be July, it may be September 2015, or even July 2016; but I PROMISE there will be one. My journey isn’t stopping here & I can’t wait to see what the Lord has planned for my future; this is just a bump in the road.
I will first & foremost ask for prayer. Prayer for my family, my body, & my doctors. Pray that the doctors know him & seek him for wisdom & the cure. Pray for my family. Pray that God gives us all the courage to understand that this is all about his timing & his plans, not about ours. Pray for my body. Pray that it with holds all the medicine & treatment; so I can conquer this in the most healthiest way possible. Secondly & lastly, I ask for no sympathy. Through all of this my eyes on the Lord & that is where my strength will come from. I am not one bit angry about this battle. They say when you stop fighting, you stop living. I’ve found my fight & I’m going fight like hell ’til my battle is won. I will not allow this to defeat me or to defeat the love I have for God & his people. This mountain that is in front of me, will be thrown into the midst of the sea. I can honestly say that through these past & upcoming months, it is well with my soul.
“After your season of suffering, God in all his grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, & establish you.” -1Peter 5:10
