Daughtership: The Beginning and The End
“When you live as a Son or a Daughter, you will be at home wherever you are. But an orphan will never feel at home, even when they are at home.” – Richard Jones
Though this is technically my “end of the Race blog”, it won’t be my last. I still have many stories to share.
I have been home from the Race for two weeks now. When people ask me how transition is going, my natural reply has consistently been: “really good, you know, this is just such a great home to come home to”. It’s true.
Though home feels different, in many ways it’s like I never left and the Race was all a dream.
Though being back with my family and community has greatly contributed to having a positive reintegration experience so far, I have definitely noticed an internal shift when faced with transition and change. I feel lighter, more free to go with the flow.
I think living in a constant state of adjustment on the Race, making somewhere new feel like home every month, has taught me to be more adaptable, even now that I’m back in my own home.
But as I reflect on this past year, I think the biggest factor in what feels like seamless transition home has been receiving a greater revelation of the Father’s Love and who I am as a Daughter. Looking back, this was a theme of my Race.
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Because of my story leading up to the Race, I think I expected this year to be about a whole list of things. The day I heard about the Race, I had a strong sense that Jesus was inviting me to follow him to places I had not yet been willing to go. I sensed He wanted to show me a part of His heart that I simply wouldn’t see if I chose to stay where I was, both physically and spiritually speaking.
In one of my earlier blogs I talked about the moment I felt like the Rich Younger Ruler who was asked to give up everything and all I knew is that I didn’t want to walk away grieved. I wanted to receive all that God had for me. And so I decided to follow Jesus, wherever He was about to lead me.
My assumption going into this year was that it was about my faithful obedience; about my willingness to surrender my will and to give up everything that I put my security, identity and hope in.
I thought this year was about going to the Nations; about the orphans I would comfort and the windows I would love. I thought it was about feeding the hungry, healing the sick and casting out demons. I thought it was about living as Jesus lived and about serving the least of these.
After training camp, I even thought this year was about me being a good team leader; about leading by example and inspiring others to pursue excellence in all things. I thought it was about modeling vulnerability; courageously admitting my own brokenness while humbly imparting all the wisdom I learned from my mistakes.
In Month 5, I thought it was about taking a step of faith and accepting the invitation to be a Squad Leader. I thought God was giving me this great opportunity to increase my capacity to love others unconditionally and truly understand what it means to serve those in front of me, regardless of whether or not they choose to follow me, while at the same time developing my character by living in 24/7 community with these same people.
I thought it was about developing the gift of intersession and creating a safe place for people to encounter the Holy Spirit; about people experiencing spiritual breakthrough and freedom from past wounds and bondage. I thought it was about engaging in spiritual warfare through worship while at the same time learning to loosen up and have fun, for once.
The Race was all of these things and more. But since coming home, God has shown me that the reason He led me through 11 countries in 11 months wasn’t actually for any of those things. It wasn’t even for me or for those I met along the way. It was for the Father.
Where Jesus led me this year was as unexpected as the trip itself. When I saw Him reach out His hand for me to follow Him, I thought He was taking me to the Nations. But actually, He took me to the Father.
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This past year completely shifted my paradigm of the gospel and what it means to walk out this Christian life.
A week after I got home from the race I attended a week long retreat in the mountains with Fatherheart Ministries. It was like I all of a sudden had words to articulate the transformation that had been taking place in my heart month after month on the Race.
It all clicked for me as the speaker spoke about obedience. He so eloquently explained that the Father isn’t ultimately interested in my obedience. Because obedience is about doing something I don’t want to do, because I have to.
I captured this in my notes:
“But intimacy with the Father is not an obligation. It’s a joy to walk with Him.”
It’s true, the more my heart understood that this year, the more I was able to live in true Joy. The funny thing is, this wasn’t the first time I had heard this teaching. But what I experienced last week was the difference between taking in information and receiving revelation.
It was enough to completely overthrow my paradigm because I realized that I have essentially been living my life based on the belief that if I love God, I need to obey Him because He knows best. That sounds nice, and even true, but it’s missing the point.
The Father doesn’t actually want us to have a personal unique relationship with Him. He wants us to have Jesus’ relationship with Him (Fatherheart Mnistries).
That’s when I understood with my heart that this past year on the World Race was not about all the things I thought it was about.
Rather, it gave the Father great joy to walk with me as I learned to be a Daughter, the way Jesus was a Son; beloved and living in complete submission to His Father, totally secure in His identity and walking in the reality of His inheritance while staying intimately connected to His Father’s heart. I hope I never stop learning this.
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If you’re reading this blog and are considering signing up for the Race, I encourage you, do it! Whether you’re attracted to this 11-month journey for the adventure of it all, for the spiritual community or the humanitarian missions component, first open your heart to receive the Father’s Love.
Regardless of where you’re at, reading this blog, ask the Father for a fresh revelation of His Heart for you. Ask Him to fill you with His Spirit of Sonship; to uncover any part of your heart that may be living out of a orphaned mentality (“never enough”) and instead lead you to live in Him, the place of abundance; a place of rest and intimacy and joy.
From that place, you will experience far more than you ever thought possible in 11 months, on the World Race or elsewhere. The Father’s heart is both the beginning and the end. It’s home.
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If you’re interested to see more about what the Race was like through my lens, follow me on Instagram as I share some of my favourite pictures and memories that never made it to social media while I was in Asia. I’m @slkreuger, look me up and I look forward to following you as well!
