Before reading, please catch Part 1. Click here “
My Journal Journey Part 1: Independence to Dependence“
So, my journey started to take another turn. Yes, total dependence on God and faith in His name, but He started to divert my eyes to my teammates. To teach me about interdependence and the amazing gift of community and the body of Christ. The Lord is community: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. So it must be pretty important. We are not made to go through this life alone. As the body, (Christ the head), we need one another. We need to put our faith in God, but we need to be able to put our trust in one another…to recognize one another as a gift from God – not a burden. To encourage and love one another.
Truthfully, I needed God to give me His love for my teammates. I, Stephanie, was failing miserably. Love is a verb. It needs to act on something and someone. It needs to manifest itself. It needs an object to reach out to. And what happends if that object is hard to love? Is love produced? Yes, it is easy to love the lovable…but what about those who are not quite as “loveable” in my eyes? (remember, “my eyes” are veiled by human perception…thus selfish and of a worldly perspective). God loves them the same. I need to learn to love like God.
I can give love. I can stop love. I can take love. I can receive love. It is a matter of the heart. And the longer I abide in Jesus Christ, the more my heart becomes His heart. And His love, my love. Hallalujuh! And He has an overwhelming, never ending supply of love for all of His creation.
I can truly say that I now love my teammates. It has nothing to do with them changing who they are…or making themselves more “loveable”. That puts the blame on them. And the “blame” is all mine. I own up to it. I didn’t love. I actually need to apologize because, as a member of the body, I with held love that the body deserves…especially as an “emotional leader”. It all has to do with the Lord. He opened my eyes to how much He loves each one and the amazing gift they are to the body. He gave me His love for my teammates and now that love is becoming my own love.
So, ironically, the Lord has me on this specific journey for a lot more that I realized. I am now Nessa team leader. He knew long before I did. Once again in his mercy, he whispered this “change” to me a day before I was told from leadership. Humility Stephanie. Leadership is just a position. A position does not dictate who you are as a person. You are still Stephanie. God is still God.
This is way beyond me. As a leader, I know that it is stewardship. God has entrusted me with living human beings. And along with stewardship comes responsibility. I know that Stephanie is not ready for this. It is way over her head. But as a servant and daughter of God, anything is possible. In my weakness He is made strong. Through Him I can do all things. It’s all about love. Through Jesus, I have that. It’s all about attitude. A positive attitude in and through all circumstances – good or bad. It’s all about thankfulness. I give God the thanks for this opportunity to grow more into the “ME” Stephanie that He has created me to become.
Yes, leadership is a privilege. I give God all the credit because I depend on him for all that I do. It can not come from Stephanie…because if it was up to me, I would not even know how to love…
