*Please note: The opening paragraph is personal opinion and mere
generalizations – I realize there are plenty of exceptions to the rule. Femmes, don’t take offense..
I’ve always been one of the guys. I eat/drink like a guy, joke like a guy, used
to (and sometimes still) dress like a guy, try (but fail) to belch like a guy, am
entertained like a guy, would do something crazy and totally nonsensical like a
guy, and usually relate much better to a guy.. plus, I’m still convinced they
have better shoes, mags, movies and music. My poor hand-eye coordination (for
sports and/or shooting) hasn’t hindered me much from finding
a comfortable place among the realm of males, and God has blessed me with healthy relationships with all my brothers along the way. At home I play the dual role of bro & sis to my brother, my best friend for years has been a guy, I am drawn to little boys for their adorable mischief in classrooms/orphanages/wherever else, and basically, if held at gunpoint (cuz you
never know if it’ll come down to that), I’d pick to hang out in the stomping grounds of guys over girls. I guess my interests are sometimes unconventional
for females (but hey, look at Amelia Earhart, right?), my mannerisms have been
deemed un-lady like in the past (and ok, probably a few times this year), and I’m not a fan of games that girls play and sensitivity
issues they tend to have (more of)… I’m more at ease and more myself around
males cuz they’re upfront, simple, low key and low maintenance.. capable of
depth, but accepting without over-analyzing, over-dramatizing, over-talking… they’re just wired to be FUN and FUNNY, two things I need as much as I need air (now who’s being dramatic, eh?!).
I thought perhaps I’d think and act differently this year, as I met and got to know a whole squad of new people, new environment, no ties to the past. While my closest friends on the Race are indeed women, I found that once again, I was pretty quickly seen and accepted as one of the guys (not meant to be a complaint or a praise – just a statement). Some of my most entertaining times have been with
or around solely guys – surviving the Earthquake together in Cambodia, sleeping
on the roof in both Haiti and Cambodia, going on a motorcycle tour in Vietnam, canoeing
out to a small island in Malawi, devouring tasty meat in the bushes of
Mozambique, spending a night on Man Mountain in Romania, watching episodes of
the Office early into the morning in Ukraine.. I grew fond of three orphan boys
in Haiti (no, not the boy I put in a backpack and attempted to bring up the
roof – he had no sense of fun!!), had a blast with our male students in Cambodia, totally fell in love
with twin boys in S. Africa, got ‘married’ to my Malawian friend, James Dixon, who hung out with me daily at Jose and Naara’s beach backyard and gave me
language and cultural lessons, hit it off with my Korean American ‘little bro’
Isaac during Moz bush outreach as we shared meat off each others’ plates, had
an unforgettable Finer Things Club with Zack in Ukraine, and my favorite
roommates all year have been either known to have 1. curly hair or 2. a non-traditional
outlook on life..
environment, I still fall short of being one. To you, it may sound like one of the silliest statements ever, but it’s been a necessary self-reminder. Being one of the
guys has come with challenges, or maybe identity issues. In the past, I’ve been clueless about femininity
and what that even means. Wear more
pink/makeup/dresses? Talk about
feelings? Cry more? Have planned (or at least thought of) my dream wedding as a girl? (Again, women, don’t hate, I’m not judging..) I’ve wondered why I tend to slant more in the opposite direction in terms of mentality, attitude, and personality, if I was meant to be Stephanie and not Stephen – and how to balance both sides? How do I embrace the “guy” side of me while acknowledging and even appreciating myself as a woman? How do I blend in with the guys without them forgetting that I am still a sister and capable of looking, acting and feeling like one? Fortunately, God continues to reveal more to
me.. I’ve found more of who I am in Him and who I was created to be as a
daughter, sister, and (hopefully one day) wife and mother. I enjoy certain advantages, heck, privileges! as a
girl.. One tiny ex: I can have a nail polish obsession and not lose all respect. A big area of growth: I’m learning not to be as disappointed or
envious when I’m unable to partake in guy activities for whatever reason
(Manistry in Thailand, climbing waterfalls, camping overnight on Snake Mountain,
killing a goat or pig in the African bush, etc.). Basically, I’m knowing more of
my place and my limits and trying to let boys be boys without feeling the incessant need to join in. HOWEVER, I still feel like proving people wrong when I’m told I can’t do something, go somewhere, or be a certain way cuz I’m a girl. Another ex: Waaay back in February, in Haiti, Dave and some other Haitian builders worked on top of an orphan house roof, using bricks and mortar to add another level. I was told girls weren’t
allowed on the roof by one of the workers, and I kept asking “why??” but the guy never gave me a reason. Since he didn’t, and I wanted to do something, I went up there, ignoring his weak and unconvincing protests.. at first I got some looks from the professionals, but they all got
over it fast and put me to work, and as the worker passed me buckets of mortar from the ladder to the roof, we ended up having a good time trying to talk to each other. He was a cool dude and I think he found out I was harmless and having a girl up there was indeed, perfectly fine..
noticed that my original intent is lost.. I meant to share about special
femalesI’ve met this year, which is a big “BUT” following everything I said
above.. Probably best that I’m not a lawyer, cuz I’d give all the supporting
statements for the opposite side before getting to my main point, eh? Anyway, more to come in Part 2..
