Flash.
Our squad has arrived in the LAX airport, and people are cheering, laughing, crying. Bedraggled World Racers forget their weariness and light up as they sprint into the arms of their loved ones whom they have not seen for a year. It’s a moment of triumph, of celebration. Finally. It’s completed. We’re home.
Flash.
I’m standing in line to the counter for assistance at the LAX airport at 7:00am. Due to a string of events, I was unable to check in my baggage for my San Francisco flight. It leaves in 45 minutes, there are 3 families in front of me, and the line is moving at a snail’s pace. Behind me, a man constantly plays perversely tinkly and happy Angry Birds music on his iPod to cheer his crying baby. I am alone in the airport for the first time in 11 months, and struggle not to break down right there in the line.
Flash.
I get rescheduled for a later flight (thank God!), and pull out the huge banana that Carly’s parents gave me for breakfast. Half of it breaks off and lands on another passenger’s suitcase, leaving a stain. I apologize, and he says it’s all right, pulling out some clean wipes from his bag. I had the strange thought; “do people other than World Racers carry clean wipes around?”
Flash.
I’m finally with my cousin, whom I haven’t seen for 11 months! We spend the whole day together with her friends, and don’t fall asleep until 4am.
Flash.
I’m walking with my cousin, and I hear all about her life, and things even about my own family that I didn’t know were going on. We talk longer and longer, and I am able to tell her about the gospel, and pray together for her about life and about the future.
Flash.
My cousin, her friends, and I are screaming, swinging wildly on amusement park rides. Like little kids, we hold hands and run from ride to ride in a frenzy of excitement.
Flash.
I walk off from my flight back to Vancouver, and had a minor freak-out when I saw the sign, “Welcome to Vancouver”. I grab my bag, straighten my clothes, and walk out to Departures with tremulous anticipation. Was my family here yet? I look over and don’t see them. Then I see someone I know…”Timmy?” I dissolve into tears as I see, one by one, members from my church emerge to welcome me back to Vancouver.
Flash.
I’m home!! I go from room to room, freaking out at what has changed, what hasn’t. I take a shower in my own home, open my presents from Christmas, give out the presents I brought home, talk with family, and finally fall asleep in my own bed.
Flash.
I’m meeting with my best friend, showing her all my pictures, telling her stories. I’m hearing about all that has happened in her life over the year. We are encouraging each other with all that we have learned.
Flash.
I’m meeting with another friend, praying for her as she takes a huge step in her life.
Flash.
I’m playing board games, baking, and watching movies with my brother, whom I haven’t seen for 11 months.
Flash.
I’m waking up, and it’s 8am, the latest I’ve woken up in months, and I miss the presence of my teammates sleeping near me.
Flash.
It’s afternoon, and I go outside for a run for no reason, other than to release all the pent-up energy inside of me.
Flash.
I’m working hard on powerpoints to show the “aunties” from church, who have invited me over for dinner to tell them about my trip. As I process, memories from the beginning of the Race become vivid in my mind.
Flash.
I’m showing the aunties my powerpoint and pictures, and they are completely enthralled, asking relevant questions and exclaiming at all the right parts. I am cut short by a group of friends with whom I go out for bubble tea until 12:30am in the morning.
Flash.
I am utterly, utterly exhausted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday June 23rd. It’s been a week and a half since I came home. Even in my exhausted state, as I reflect over my past week, I can’t help but overflow with thankfulness to my Lord. He has blessed me in so many ways.
Letting me stay with Carly and her family for the night before my next flight.
Providing a flight to San Francisco when I missed my first flight.
Opening opportunities to talk to my cousin.
Getting to go to the Boardwalk (an amusement park), where my teammate Hannah worked and had talked about all Race.
Giving me an extremely supportive church family.
All the times I got to meet with my friends who are genuinely interested in my experiences on the Race, hear about their lives, and pray for each other.
Getting to pray with my mom every night.
Providing an opportunity to speak to “aunties” from my church, which forced me to process my experiences on the Race.
Before coming home, my teammates and I prayed for me to be a different person, a light to those in my community. The Lord has forcefully affirmed to me that I AM different; and He’s brought so many opportunities to share my experiences and to make sure that my experiences do not go to waste; that they will remain alive so that others’ lives would be changed. I have not had to seek out opportunities at all. He is the One who continually brings them to my doorstep.
Despite all these blessings, however, I do still struggle with the loss of the Race. Some mornings, I wake up, and the room seems too empty without the presence of Hannah, Taryn, and Kelly nearby. Several days I gave up going running because it took too much effort, and Hannah wasn’t there to keep me accountable. I miss the places that I’ve been, and interacting with people of a completely different culture. Perhaps most of all, I miss being in the frontlines of the fight with like-minded friends and fellow workers – the hard but satisfying days where together, every single day, you are teaching a lesson, giving a hug, or speaking God’s Word to some of the people who need it most in the world.
But even in those moments, God doesn’t leave me stranded.
Saturday afternoon, I was feeling especially restless. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, I decided to go for a walk outside and head to the nearby Christian bookstore. As I walked, I kept feeling the burden of the future. What should I do now? What can I do to most help the people of the world? What is God’s role for me within His Kingdom?
What if He’s broken my heart and left the pieces in a hundred different places?
I walked to the bookstore and they didn’t have the books I wanted, but I was also looking for a pocket Bible because the one I had got stolen on the second last day of the Race. The clerk brought out a few choices to me and one particularly caught my eye. It was a pocket ESV Bible, leather-bound with a zipper. It was exactly what I wanted. It was also the cheapest one. “Today’s the last day we have a sale,” the clerk mentioned. “20% off all Bibles.” I got the Bible for 17 dollars.
While waiting for a friend with whom I had dinner plans, I flipped open the Bible. Verses such as Jer 29:11, Matt 6:25-34, Matt 10:38, Phil 4:4-7 spoke to me. “Do not be anxious about anything…seek first the kingdom of God…for I know the plans I have for you…let you prayers and requests be known to God…and the peace of God…will guard your hearts.”
I felt like I had come into the calm of the eye of a storm. The promises of God wrapped around me like a blanket and brought peace to my heart.
My friend (who was not a Christian) came, and we sat down to talk about my experiences on the Race over sushi. I told her I had just bought a new Bible, and she was very curious about the different translations and genres of the Bible, and what it was all about. Instead of the Race, we talked about the Bible for two hours, including the gospel message embedded in its pages. At the end of our night, she expressed an interest in studying more of the Bible and talking more about it together. I was completely blown away.
I came home, and my mom reminded me to pray together, something we had started doing since I came home. As we prayed, I was filled with an incredible sense of wonder and thankfulness. Although we had been Christians for many years, mom and I had never prayed like this before. THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU TO BE, it seemed God was saying to me. The frontlines aren't only overseas – they're here too, right here in your own home.
The next day, when God showed up again, I was hardly surprised. My dad had been looking for a phone plan for me, and we headed out to the mobile store in a mall. In the front window was plastered an incredible offer – $15/month for unlimited talking and texting within Greater Vancouver…only available on June 23-24th. The day we went was June 24th. The offer came with a stipulation; I had to have a current working phone number (with an account balance of more than $0). I had a number with $2.50 left to its name.
Through the tumultuous process of coming home, God could not have made it more clear to me that He’s got me every step of the way. Sometimes I feel extremely stressed out about the future; even deciding my next step here in Vancouver is a trial. It’s at these times that I have to remember that God will show me the picture one step at a time, to step forward in the direction I feel led – and to trust Him, as He has done countless times, to hold me up.
My family and church family who came to meet me at the airport.
My friend meets with me to talk at length about the Race.
Meeting up with the "aunties" for a presentation.
A new Bible!
