A Farewell…
This last month in Rwanda has been a month of changes and goodbyes; a hard month for most on the squad. In addition to lagging ministry days and spending Christmas and New Year’s away from family, there were also many squad members who had to go home due to financial reasons, or felt called to leave the Race. Some teams dwindled down to 2 or 3 members. On our team, Talitha had to return home to Calgary, Canada due to financial reasons.
At debrief, the remnants of our squad sat down together to hammer out issues that had been brewing beneath the surface and causing distrust and dissension. I was surprised to know that there had been rumours flying around certain squad members, and even squad leaders. Dissatisfaction with the way things were handled was brought up. Heavy silence hung over the group as slowly people brought up issues, voiced their feelings honestly, and as the squad leaders facilitated and addressed them.
One thing my teammate said stood out to me. “This isn’t an X-Squad thing,” he said. “This is a human nature thing. It’s not that we’ve failed as a squad; it’s that we’ve failed to rise above what is common to human nature.”
At the beginning of the Race, I certainly had an image of the squad being a perfect place. It was a group of people living in love and grace. But now that I think about it, I don’t know why I should have expected it to be perfect, when each person comes from a different background, a different place, a different age and is at a different point of their spiritual walk. We are each susceptible in different ways to our old habits of sinful nature and Satan’s lies in our lives, and learning to walk out the pure and free life God has intended for us.
But this is where I am proud of X-Squad. There were many ways in which the squad could have responded; put all the blame on the squad leaders, for example, or continued in distrust of each other, or thought that the situation was hopeless and inevitable, or “buy out” of the organization and what it represented. However, different members began to address the heart issues of the matter and plead with each other out of love. “Why are we living double lives, being one person in ministry and another in our personal life?” “Why are we spreading rumours, and allowing negative thoughts to fester and grow out of proportion?” “Why are we not directly addressing the people we need to, instead of relying on our own indirect perceptions?” “Why are we not taking feedback to heart and effecting change?” “Will we glorify God in this situation?”
My team leader and friend Taryn said to me after a particularly intense night of team feedback, “this is good. Conflict is healthy and necessary for growth.” Facing and addressing conflict is perhaps one of the hardest things in the world. But it’s a lie of Satan that it can’t be given and received in a loving manner. I thought that in a Christian community, especially one of missionaries, we wouldn’t have such things as rumours and dissension. However I have realized that it is human nature for us to fall into such traps; the important thing is how we are going to respond to it, and how we will make our daily choices from then on. It’s with the grace we give each other and the desire for a heart-change that comes only through the Holy Spirit that we can have the love and unity that truly shows the world we are Christ’s followers.
Lev 19:17 “Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbour frankly so you will not share in their guilt.”
Col 3:13-14 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
…And A New Beginning
Meet the newest member of the team, Kelly Gauthier! With the addition of Kelly, we are now Team Deeper Roots. It is our hope to go even deeper with each other and with God than we have in these first three months. We are glad to welcome this gifted woman to our team!
