Goodbyes were harder than I thought they were going to be. I spread out saying my goodbyes to family and friends, had a few going away parties, and my church prayed over me. I was ready. I had been planning for this trip for months and I knew without a doubt that this is what God wanted me to do with my life right now.
Tuesday morning came and my mom and I drove to the airport. It was raining in Atlanta, and as I watched the raindrops drip down the window from my seat on the plane, my heart was breaking. My heart literally ached for everything I was leaving behind. My sadness didn’t last long as launch got underway and I was busy with meetings, worship services, team time, and spending a little bit more time with my mom and other parents who were invited to come for a couple days.
Our first W.R. “activity” was getting a week’s worth of food for our team with a budget of $5/person/day. We had no instructions of what to get or how to get it. Team leaders and treasurers walked a mile to the nearest Aldi to buy groceries for our team with no refrigerator or microwave available in our rooms. PB&J anyone?? Then, we walked it back in the blazing heat carrying our groceries in hand. Welcome to the Race! 🙂
Our team had lots of quality time together the first few days. Our favorite memory already together is one day we literally spent almost 11 hours hanging out in our room talking, planning our year of goals we wanted to reach, and eating a 30 inch pizza so big the box couldn’t fit through the door while watching Mulan on the Disney channel. Random, I know. It was so great!
Unfortunately, even with everything going on, I was really struggling with spiritual warfare. I was having doubts, fears, and insecurities about what was to come. Soon those feelings became apathy. It made me feel terrible because just a week before I had made a blog about how blessed I am, how on fire I was for God, and looking forward to the potential of the next year to come. Now that it was here—nothing. I kept praying and asking God to tear my walls down and I was still struggling. Ugh! It was like training camp all over again!
On our last night, all of the squads got together for our last worship service. Afterwards, we had time to pray by ourselves or with each other. I was feeling upset inside because I was empty, my heart was hardened, and Satan just kept punching me with lies. I thought to myself, ‘As long as no one talks to me, I won’t get upset and can figure out everything by myself”. As people were moving around the room, a girl from my squad who I don’t talk to often came and sat in front of me. She said, “I was asking God to give me a vision and He kept putting your face in my mind. I don’t know why He did, but do you need any prayer about anything?” I told her everything, and apparently she had been wrestling with that exact thing earlier in the week! She prayed over me and I felt a little better. Then my team and I got together, prayed, and it was so powerful! Even though I hadn’t shared with them about what I was going through, their prayers were about that very thing. We took turns in a circle, and when it was my turn the Holy Spirit must have spoken through me because even though I had so much fear and doubt in me, I was praying with such power, authority, and boldness! It was incredible and when we were done I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off. I felt so alive!
After our prayers and a big group hug with my team, I had a calming, joyful peace back in my heart. It was exactly what I needed.
Guatemala here we come!!
