There has been a thought in my mind that I can't seem to get rid of…several people asked me before I left why i would go on a trip like this. Someone even asked why I would go to a place that is a perpetual cycle. When asked what that meant they explained that typically third world countries cannot break the cycle they are in of poverty, homelessness, etc so when missionaries leave that country they fall right back into their "cycle." That comment has haunted me ever since I left. I started wondering if people were right in their thinking and I started questioning why I was going on a trip like this.
While we were nearing the end of Africa I heard similar things being spoken about our trip from my squad mates. People felt like we weren't "doing anything on the race." They were wondering if we were really "making a difference."
My question is then…
"how do you know you are making a difference?"
I had the opportunity to talk with one of my youth (Bailey) from Sharon Lutheran who just went to Ethiopia for 10 days. She said something very similar. She didn't feel like they actually "did" anything like painting or building, but they just loved on people.
So my second question is….
"when has loving someone not made a difference in their life?"
In Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne tells this story, "Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them says he has a question for God. He wants to ask why God allows all of this poverty and war and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says, "Well, who don't you ask?" The fellow shakes his head and says he is scared. When his friend asks why, he mutters, "I'm scared God will ask me the same question." Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, "You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet."
When I read that passage I thought it described exactly what I had been trying to say for the past year and a half. I don't think I should have to explain myself to other people. I don't think I should have to break down why I would leave for a year to help others who are struggling. The truth in all of this is that whether or not we ignore what is happening across the world or right in front of us, it is happening. We are the privileged in the fact that we can make a change; they are the privileged in the fact that they live a life of simplicity and love. They have it right. They know what is important to them because they literally have NOTHING. When you have most things you could ever want, why would you turn to God. He doesn't need to be real to you. But when you are unsure of when your next meal will come or if your mother will die from AIDS tomorrow, you are forced to evaluate your priorities.
My last question is…
"why are you sitting still?"
Now, I fully realize that many people I know don't know what their beliefs are on God are and I am here to say…you know what…THAT IS OK! I have struggled with similar thoughts, especially before leaving for the race. When having a conversation with my teammate back in Thailand. I started to understand more and more about God and a different way of life, I asked her why people wouldn't want to live "this way" even if they didn't believe in God.
Why wouldn't people want to live to serve others, to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, shelter the homeless, and love everyone in between? I know some people think they can get by reading my blogs thinking, "well I don't really believe in God anyways." I don't care what you believe no matter how tight you close your little eyes, there is suffering going on in this world. I have seen it, I have lived it.
It has forced me to believe there is a God that protects those we do not see or hear. It has shown me that the way I have been taught to live is opposite of the majority of the world. It has taught me that I have my priorities completely out of order. It has shown me that people are happy with nothing. But, most importantly it has shown me that there is a higher power that I need to thank each day…
“I cried for the little children with our hand me down Hello Kitty and Spider-man clothes on. With no shoes on their little feet that ran across rocks without feeling any pain. Only eating once a day with no toys to play with. If I could only give each one of them a pair of shoes or a toy. That would make them happy and me too. But they are already happy. They are happy because they know that God is with them every single day. You can feel his presence there. They know he is there to protect and guide them. I, unlike the African people, tend to pray to God when I need him the most and forget when things are going OK. Stephanie said it well, "We don't need to pray. We have everything we could ever ask for." That's the difference between us and them.That is why he is not always present for me but he is for them. Did the people of Africa learn something from the Muzungu (white person)? I'm not sure. But I know that I learned something from them. Praise the Lord every minute of the day and you will feel his presence. He is our maker, our father, and our Savior. Thank you Africa for teaching me that. When people ask me about my trip to Africa I tell them how God entered my life there and if they ever get a chance to do a mission trip do it in a heartbeat. I think about the children everyday and hope that they will be safe and then remember that they they will be because they have God.”
-My mom on her trip to Africa
….to the abandoned
…to the poor
…to the hungry
…to the abused, the raped, the victims
…to the unloved
