Desperate.

 

The past
few weeks I’ve seen desperate people. We’ve been working at a soup
kitchen and every day about 30 to 40 people push their way through a
line to get fed. It’s a daily occurrence where a few people will yell
at me to give them a few more slices of bread. Some people just
completely ignore me and grab the bread right out of my basket. I
feel disrespected. They don’t care what I think about them though,
they just want food. They’re hungry. They are desperate.

The word
“desperate” often has a negative connotation attached. It’s
weakness to show you’re desperate for something.

I’m
realizing on this trip more than ever that I am weak.

Think
about all the people in the Bible that were desperate.

The
paralyzed man in Mark 2 was so desperate that even though the house
was full to the max, his friends tore open the roof and lowered him
in smack in front of Jesus. Right in the middle of His teaching. How
rude of Him to interrupt the great teacher. How rude of them to
destroy someone’s roof. But He didn’t care. He was desperate.

There
was a woman who had a terrible sickness where for twelve whole years
she was constantly bleeding. She’d spent all her money on doctors and
things only got worse for her. She was in terrible pain. She had
heard about Jesus and thought that if she could just touch a piece of
his clothing, she would be better. One day Jesus was in her town.
There were crowds of people around him…they were probably pushing
each other just to get within ear shot of this guy everyone was
talking about. This woman was likely shoved to the ground countless
times, but she didn’t care. She got up again and tackled people in
the mass until she finally touched Jesus. She was desperate.

Then
there was another woman. She’s my favorite desperate one. She had
this incredibly expensive perfume oil that was imported all the way
from India (that’s a long way from Israel!). I’ve heard it said that
this bottle could have been her dowry for marriage. Jesus was having
dinner at a friend’s house when this woman just barges in the middle
of it and pours this oil all over His head. I mean, who does she
think she is, wasting this expensive stuff on a man? She could have
sold it and given the money to the poor! That’s what some of the
people at dinner were saying that night. She didn’t really give a
care to what they all thought. She wanted to show Jesus how much she
loved Him. He was worth her “wasting” this costly perfume. She
was desperate.

There
are so many other desperate people I could write about. I want to be
one of them. I want to make a mess on my way to Jesus, pushing and
shoving. I want to be impolite and reckless in my desperation for
Jesus. I’m tired of being nice. Being nice is okay, but when will I
not care about anything else? I’m making my way to desperate lately.
I feel it in my bones and I want it even more.