These past two weeks have been pretty incredible for me. God has really opened my eyes and has shown me so much. My church just launched our fall classes on Wednesday nights and I was having a hard time picking between the book Wild Goose Chase or Recovering Redemption. I was talking to one of the pastors telling him the pros of both of them and how I was not sure which one to go with. As we were talking he pointed out to me how I am already uncaged for the most part, considering I am following God’s calling and how he felt the recovering redemption would be a better fit for me right now and something that could benefit me through the race.
So the past two weeks, I have been in the Recovering Redemption study by Matt Chandler and I have to say that this study is absolutely perfect for me and brought such new light into my life. I can see that God is already changing me tremendously and the feeling is unexplainable. In the first two lessons, which is all we have done so far, Matt Chandler talks about these four wells that we use to fill the cracks in our lives. The four wells are ourselves, others, the world, and religion. He talks about how we are always trying to achieve the goal of a better us but this is not going to happen just by ourselves and God is the only one who can do this. Honestly, I can say I have done this and I always think what I can do to improve myself but none of it never works. And looking back, every time that I have hit rock bottom and did not know how I could make it; God was the one who reached down and pulled me up. When he talked about others, he pointed out how we try to think that others will satisfy us and complete us but they never will. God is the only one that will truly satisfy and complete us. I have always been one to look to others to make me feel good or make me feel like I am worth something but others won’t do that. They will tear us down and sometimes they are not there when you really need them. God is always there for me and even when I pushed away, He never let me go. My worth is found in my Heavenly Father, who knows what I am capable of and who loves me for me. Matt also talks about how we go to the world to make us feel better, like buying new things and such. Not going to lie, when you are feeling down and you buy something new, at first you are excited and happy but as time goes by the real pain comes back. God is the only one who is going to give me that true joy and peace, not objects that will rot. The last well Matt talks about is religion and how the focus of religion can be to try to earn God’s favor or be a good person. God tells us in Isaiah 64:6-8 how He feels about religious acts, “they are nothing but filthy rags, like autumn leaves, we wither and fall.” God wants a relationship with each of us, He wants us. I can see how I have looked to these wells in my life instead of looking to God to fill the cracks and how they have never helped me. The only one who has brought me up and filled me is God.
I can already see the change that God is doing in me right now and I have nothing but peace and joy even during this crazy time of fundraising, working, and being in graduate school. I cannot describe how excited I am as time gets closer to training camp and launch. I truly cannot wait to see what God has for my future and how the great creator is molding me into what He wants me to be. I am embracing the change and thanking God every day for working inside of me and becoming the lady that He wants me to be because it is truly bigger and greater than anything I could ever imagine. In the past month or so, one song has become one of my absolute favorite songs because it truly is what I think about God and how I feel about Him. It is My Dear by Bethel and every time it comes on all I can do is smile and picture my Heavenly Father. He is the love of my life and who I strive to be closer to; He has ravished my heart.
Thank You to everyone who has donated, praying, and following my blog. Y’all are incredible and I cannot thank you enough for all the support and love. You are helping me follow my true calling and focusing on God’s plans.
