Y’all,
Change. I knew it was going to happen at some point. It is inevitable and the staff at Adventures in Missions has been very frank about that from the start. My squad received an email last week from our
mobilizer, Erin. She told us that three of the routes were overly crowded and they were seeking volunteers to join a new FIFTH ROUTE. This route includes: HONDURAS, GUATEMALA, EL SALVADOR, ALBANIA, BULGARIA, MALAWI, ZAMBIA, MOZAMBIQUE, THAILAND, CAMBODIA, MALAYSIA. Immediately, I thought “I am pretty easy going. I could totally step up and switch.” Then the voice of reason spoke up… just because I CAN do this doesn’t mean I SHOULD do this. I prayed right away and asked “God if this is your will or if you are okay with me switching, please give me a sign….allow someone to bring one of these countries up in conversation or put it on a sign.” Then I giggled and thought what a silly girl I am. Who am I to pray something like that?
So the next day, I woke up to have some time to really pray and seek God on the issue. I wasn’t gaining any clarity. So I started researching the countries. (Not a good idea. They tell us all along not to choose based on country because they can change at any moment). I found myself feeling really attached to A Squad and my route. Specifically because of Myanmar and Swaziland. I decided to forget about it for the time being trusting that God would give me a word when I needed it. I was walking out the door to meet a friend for lunch and I picked up my water glass off the kitchen table to finish what was left. I was facing the window where sunshine was streaming in. (Hang with me these details are really important) So as I began draining the water in my glass, the bottom was illuminated, like lit up, and I saw the words “MADE IN BULGARIA.” I chuckled and made a point to call Erin and let her know I was willing to switch.
What I learned from that was that God will guide us if we seek Him. In this particular case there was no right or wrong. I felt like He was saying to me “Choosing to go on the World Race was the big decision. Wherever you go in the next year I will guide you.” But you know how sometimes you can have such peace about the decision when it is time to make it but wake up the next day thinking “What the heck did I do??” Well that is exactly what happened here. I started to think “What about this squad that I love? What about these countries I have been praying for and have gotten so excited about?” But instead of freaking out (I mean I still freaked out a little) I stood on the promise that God is guiding my every step so I can’t go wrong. There are no mistakes. Only choices. And as long as He is my leader I can’t veer off course. It was also a chance for me to acknowledge my feelings but choose to not be ruled by them.
Most exciting of all, it reminded my that this life is NOT ABOUT ME. I have to surrender my feelings, my dreams, my plans. But if that is what it takes for God to receive glory and me to have His presence I don’t ever want to know life without it. I have no control over the next year… really over this life. I am right back in the wide open space I was in when I first applied to the race. Knowing that it is not about me and even if I wanted it to be, I have no control over what happens. Change is absolutely inevitable so why not take this chance to thrust myself in to that state of mind right now?
I am incredibly excited to meet this new family, C-SQUAD. As I type this I am in a van with two fellas from A-Squad heading down to ATL to spend the night with my first WR Family (A-SQUAD) because of plans that were made months ago. It will be strange to continue falling in love with this group and then wave goodbye to them all when I get to training camp. We are all fighting the same fight of faith though so it isn’t goodbye forever.
I also find out this week who my team will be. Prayers are much appreciated for the upcoming week. I have no idea what to expect. But I am looking forward to being in the woods under some starry skies. Will be off the grid for a week or so but will hopefully return to NYC full of stories to share here on my blog after Training Camp.
Thanks for reading.
God is good yall,
Stacie C. Fields
