Mike and I have been so blessed to be able to visit 5 of our 8 teams so far; we’ll be visiting the other 3 in the next week and a half. One of the recurring questions that’s been asked by B-squad and the Passport team that we worshiped with is “how are you doing this again?” Well, it’s simple. Because God told me to go…again.
Just a few short weeks ago my heart was completely unsettled; I wasn’t confident in the role of squad leader, nor was I confident in a dream of mine that has been slowly coming to fruition. At launch, I had the privilege of having lunch with a few of the World Race staff. My heart was in such a weird place that I wanted to soak up any wisdom that they have, so I asked what I was supposed to do when I knew I was following what God told me to do but felt unsettled. I don’t really know what answer I was expecting, but the one I got definitely wasn’t it. My question was met with “it’s a matter of maturity” & “people think that God’s will is the safest place to be, but His main concern isn’t our comfort” & possibly the best, yet one that stung the most was “you just have to choose to grow up.” Oh, hey there reality. ha! After that, I simply asked the Lord to settle my heart and ground my spirit in the truth of who He is. It’s like a switch went from off to on.
About a week ago, we had dinner with a few TL’s and were talking about some of our childhood dreams. I thought about the fact that I went through my senior book from high school when I got home from the World Race. I looked at the goals I had written, which were to 1) go on a foreign mission trip 2) start a non-profit and 3) open a physical therapy clinic. #3 won’t happen because I realized I don’t actually enjoy physical therapy and changed my major :), but I’m living out the other 2! Just think…papa put those dreams in my heart like 6 years ago and they’re happening NOW!
Yesterday, we met a man named Mike that runs a coffee shop called Crossroads in Panajachel, Guatemala; it’s not a typical coffee shop, as it doesn’t have WIFI. The reasoning behind this is so he can talk with people and hear their stories about where they’ve been and where they’re going. Mike travels quite a bit as well, so he brought up an illustration of getting on a plane. You hug the people you love and leave them, sit for awhile with the fact that you’ve just said good-bye, then prepare for landing and anxiously get your bags to head to the destination of saying hello to what God has for you next. During our conversation he started talking about the song called Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath; Mike said that anytime he is questioning whether it’s worth it, he will look into the eyes of a customer and see the brokenness pouring out of them.
Sometimes I meet people that, when I look in their eyes, seem as though they will shatter if a light breeze blows. It’s not my favorite to say good-bye to people so often, it really isn’t. But, I’m continuously placed in positions to help people pick up the pieces when they do happen to shatter. It’s so worth it to see someone come alive when they realize they are loved unconditionally.
So, the past month has been one of becoming settled in where I am and pouring my heart out to people that I say good-bye to a few days later, while also becoming confident in where I’m going. I feel like I’m finally not running from something, but running towards something. I’m running towards my Father’s heart. I’m running towards the love that He has for the people around me. I’m running towards the life of abundance that’s He’s leading me into. I’m so thankful that I’m surrounded by people that are willing to look me in the eye and tell me how it is, no sugar-coating needed. It’s pretty great!
