I love writing blogs when I’m traveling to all of these countries around the world; it means that I get to be your eyes and ears in the nations. It means that I get to tell you about all of the amazing things that God is doing in the lives of the people I meet. It’s awesome. It’s exciting. It’s life-changing. On the other hand, while being back in America, the Lord has constantly been reminding me of ministering to one specific person: myself. And, this one friends, stings a bit.
God has been teaching me to examine my heart through encounters with situations that I would least expect. I was reading the other day & came across this verse in 1 John 5:21: “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.” Straightforward enough, right? I remember standing in a temple in Thailand that contained offerings to idols. I felt so many emotions while staring at the lifeless things that I knew offered no life. no hope. nothing whatsoever. I was overwhelmed. angry. disgusted. sad. that people go their entire lives believing that these “things” will bring them freedom.
Fast-forward 4 months later and this verse is hitting me in a completely different way; the Lord is telling me, yep the missionary, that I have idols, A divided heart, that when given a voice, won’t bring life with the words that overflow. These idols don’t come in the form of gold statues, incense, or flowers, but more often than not it’s in materialism, pride, & relationships.
I met someone a few weeks ago that, in all honesty, irritated the heck out of me. The plan was for me to meet up with a few of my closest friends that I’ve only seen once since being home and spend a few days having some girl time. Well, that didn’t exactly work out when we found ourselves hanging out with what I’d like to call a “stage-9 clinger”; we tried to ditch him multiple times (in the nicest, sweetest, Southern girl way of course…eh, sort of). I watched this guy, in his drunkenness, approach girl after girl in hopes of being offered some kind of attention. some kind of acknowledgement. some kind of love. After seeing him bounce around from person to person and be rejected, I was no longer irritated; I was sad for him.
As I was sitting there watching this situation unfold, the Lord began to speak to me. This is what it looks like when you pursue things above me. um, excuse me? come again. Whaaaat? Sometimes, you just chase after things because you need something to physically hold…when the best thing you’ll ever have can’t be contained in an object or person. You need to be ok with not knowing. You need to be ok with my timing and not your own. great, just great.
So, this has been my life for the past few weeks; learning lessons that aren’t all that fun, while also allowing the knowledge that the Lord has so much more to offer in exchange for these idols to become deeply rooted in the inner-most parts of my heart.
