First of all, this is my first time blogging so I apologize in advance for randomness or if I get
 off-track…that’s just how I roll :).  I still find it a little creepy that I’m suppose to write about what goes on in my thoughts….and for those of you that know me, this could get a little interesting because it’s very random :). I’ve always had a heart for missions, which began when I watched a video about Invisible Children at a church camp back in the day. I went on pretty much every mission trip that my youth group planned when I was in middle school and high school, and always had a longing to do more. I’ve known for awhile that God was “calling” me to do something much bigger with my life, but I’ve always brushed it aside.  I’m reading the book “The Love Revolution” which talks about a study that discovered people are less likely to react in a situation of wrongdoing (someone getting robbed, beat up) when there is a crowd of people, because everyone else is waiting for the other people to do something. I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing for awhile now….always thinking someone else will go, someone else is more qualified, someone else is better for this. I guess my thought has always been “really what can I do to help these people, I’m no one special.”But, that’s actually the amazing thing about it….of course I’m no one in comparison to God, but I have faith in the fact that God is so much greater than me or any of my plans and will work through me during this trip. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about this mission trip that revolve around whether I am really suppose to be going…basically me making excuses because it’s a lot bigger deal to actually 100% commit to going, rather than still be in the stage of seriously considering it. Seriously, every time I have one of these thoughts a verse pops into my head…it’s craziness. And, the sermon at church yesterday was about submitting to God’s will for your life, and not your own…go figure. So here’s a little bit of how God has been confirming and reassuring me that this is in fact what I am suppose to do:
 
Well God, I have this job that could give me everything I’ve wanted. I could possibly achieve the goal of being a head coach in only my second year, I could maybe even teach Kindergarten or First Grade (my favorite). How can I leave these kids when everyone else walks out on them? I love them so much.  In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.  Proverbs 16:9 My will, not your own.
 
Well God, how am I really suppose to leave behind my family, friends, and pretty much have no clue what’s going to happen? That seems like a little much to ask… For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 My will, not your own.

Well you know God, I really had plans for marriage and a lot of things. What if I miss out on “the one” because I’m gone for a year…you’re kidding right? [Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8 My will, not your own.
 
Well God, that’s a lot of money to raise. Plus, I have students loans…how is this even going to be possible? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 My will, not your own.

 
Well God, this doesn’t really fit into the overall plan and timeline that I had figured out for my life. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 My will, not your own.