As most of you know, this next year of mine is certain to be filled with excitement and growth as I embark with 50 other young women on a journey to live for our great God and bring his kingdom wherever we go. The past couple of days, I had my first taste of this exciting and challenging adventure at what we call “Training Camp.” I had the opportunity to spend ten long, hot, and exhausting days growing in faith and community with my 50 new sisters in Christ. Based on the lack of information that World Race (purposefully) gives us, I walked into training camp with almost no expectations but to grow. I just didn’t know exactly how and in what ways that might happen.
After the first night of worship, I found myself surprised by how out of place I felt. My contained and focused worship didn’t fit in with the more charismatic way of others. This out of place-ness and feeling of not knowing God in the same way others knew Him lead to doubt. I found myself asking God, “Why am I here?” almost as soon as I had arrived. As excited as I’ve been for this opportunity, I felt so alone and dissimilar in my depth and expression faith. My faith felt small and I started doubting that God would be able to use me to bring His kingdom.
The second day, we had a training session that prompted me to think about the labels and boxes that I put God into and the parts of my life that I shut Him out of. I was able to release God from those expectations and ask Him to begin His work in those places. And in doing so, He brought new joy, restored hope, and showed up for me in ways that I had previously decided He wouldn’t.
A great testament to His presence from the time spent at Training Camp would have been the night that we found out that our first month of the race would now be in Cambodia. As I inwardly freaked out from this huge shift of plans and sudden lack of control, I stopped myself from the immediate inclination to call my parents. Instead, I turned to God and asked Him to show me, clearly, that He wanted me on this trip and that His plan for me included Cambodia.
Just seconds later, our squad mentor announced that our word for the next nine months is “celebration.” Now a single word might not mean much to you, but hearing the word “celebration” was immediate confirmation that God’s plan was for me to be on this race. Earlier this summer, I worked as a CIT (counselor-in-training) at Ligonier Camp after God had very clearly guided me towards that job and community. And while I spent time working and growing with other CITs, our word for the five weeks was “celebration.” So in hearing that word, I knew once again that God was calling and guiding me into this new adventure. That one word showed me of God’s faithfulness and presence, and was a reminder that He is going to use the next nine months to continue the work that He had started in me at Ligonier.
Later that night as I was talking to some girls about what we were looking forward to next year, the same verse that was on the Ligonier staff shirt popped up in my mind, that “…out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” God was once again affirming His presence and purpose. I told the group that I was eager to see how God would change our hearts in ways that we couldn’t contain, and that through that transformation, our words would be an example of our faith and would point others towards Him.
A little while later, I was sitting in the parking lot with three new friends talking about how hard training camp had been. As the conversation went on, one friend started telling us about her devotion the previous day when she read about Ezekiel and the valley of the dry bones. All of the sudden, tears welled up in my eyes and I took a deep breath as I realized that once again, God had confirmed that He knew exactly what He was doing and where He wanted me to be. The story of Ezekiel and the valley of the dry bones was the same story we used at camp this past summer throughout our Bible studies. It was a passage that I struggled with, related to and found hope in. And once again, God brought peace and showed me His purpose.
In surrendering my expectations of Him, God stepped in and showed up in a way that I never would have believed. He used places of struggle and growth and celebration to show me how purposeful and thought out His plan for my life and for these next 9 months is. The ten long days of Training Camp were in fact filled with humidity, bucket showers, crickets for breakfast and mystery meats for lunch, but most of all, they were filled with God’s presence and peace and a renewed excitement for the journey He is about to lead me on.
