Training Camp (TC) is officially over, and I survived the entire thing. I've never been more spiritually and emotionally drained in my life, and I couldn't have asked for God to show up at a better time. He showed up (repeatedly), shattered my heart, and put it all back together again. That was essentially how the entire week went. God had some fine tuning to do in my life, and He decided TC was where it would happen.
Let's rewind to the very first night at TC. I was getting my worship on, trying really hard to open my heart to whatever it was that God had in store, and just feel His presence in the room when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was one of my squad leaders. She pulled me in and said "God loves you Skylar….He loves you! I felt Him tell me 'I LOVE SKYLAR….you must tell her!' So I'm telling you that He LOVES YOU!"….I cried like a baby. That was day one….that was how TC started for me.
Throughout the week there was this constant pattern of me asking God to show up for a specific reason, then me doubting that He would show up, and then Him showing up and rocking my world. It was a daily occurrence for me.
There was a grieving session the next day. Not about grieving death, but grieving about other issues that have taken ahold of your life. I didn't think my situation was really worth grieving over. I mean some people are dealing with some tough stuff….mine seemed so petty in comparison. I decided to bring it up to the group I was with, and just see what would happen. Turned out that just about everyone in my group had similar stories. My grief was just as important as anyone else's grief, and needed to be shared. There God went again, showing up when I doubted Him.
Next….and this one really caught my attention….we talked about healing through prayer. Prayer and healing were never something I really learned about….it was too far out there to wrap my head around, so I just swept that gift under the rug. I believed that it happened in the Bible, and possibly in third world countries, but not in my surroundings….and definitely not to me. So we broke up in groups, and I went over with a group that was going to pray over one of our squad leaders. Once we were done, he looked at me and asked if there was anything I needed praying for….it caught me off guard. I have an extremely bad knee (knee replacement worthy), so I told them about it, and they began to pray over it. In the middle of the prayer my squad leader looked me directly in the eyes and said he was seeing the word "Daddy's girl", and asked if it had any meaning to me and if there was history there. My jaw almost hit the floor….I lost it. I told them of the history, and they continued to pray. My knee isn't healed, but a substantial amount of pain has been gone since. Once again, I asked specifically, I doubted, and God still showed up….big.
Over the next few days our leaders began putting us in different groups to start forming teams. I began forming this thing called "expectations" (we're told to not do that….I totally get it now) of who would be in my team. When they announced the final teams I was with a completely different group (you'll hear about them in another blog later….Team Chainless!). In that moment, the light bulb went off in my head, and I felt an overwhelming presence of God that I've never felt before in my life. I was asked how I felt, and I just sobbed and laughed on and off….all day long. I had asked God almost a year ago to do with me as HE saw fit to glorify His kingdom. Whatever He needed….I was willing and able to do any of it….I completely surrendered to Him. However, after saying it I doubted that He would show up….but He showed up….every time.
The whole time He knew what was up. He placed this amazing squad together, with amazing trainers, mentors, coaches, and leaders knowing what He was doing. Until that moment when they announced teams….I never got it, but oh do I get it now. He's got plans for us….big plans….monumental plans….He's going to rock our world this year, and I'm beyond grateful for it.
Training Camp was messy, hard, heart breaking, gut wrenching, beautiful, glorious, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. God showed up in a way that I can't even begin to describe….and this is just the beginning.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
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