So you want to know what I am learning, huh? Well, I thought this was going to be a short blog. Wrong. I am splitting it into pieces so you all wont be overwhelmed. Enjoy.
1. I am a son of God first, a human (with all its issues, imperfections, and categories) second. I need to deal with the responsibility/weight of being a black man in this world only AFTER I have internalized the fact that I belong to God and was created for His purpose. There are issues that black people face worldwide which are unique. The media supports the ideology that there is something dangerous and wrong with me because of my skin. Insecurities bubbled to the surface this month with so many people staring at me, reacting to me, noticing me very obviously, and I struggled a lot. What I have read in the Word is that I am the aroma of Christ with which God spreads the knowledge of Him worldwide. He chose me to do this through. Insecurity? Obviously that is invalid and I am working on routing out all of that in favor of what God’s word says about me. He is teaching me that I am HIS first, and that trumps everything. Race, Color, Creed, whatever. *drops mic*
2. *picks mic up, taps, continues* I was created to be loved by God, to share God’s love, and to love God. Just because I am broken and being fixed does not mean that I cannot give a perfect expression of God’s love to others. Those who have a deeper understanding of the love given to them have a deeper capacity to love others, and to love God in return. My task, therefore, is to daily reach for a deeper understanding of the love God has for me, and for the world, so that I can be a better reflection of that love with ever-increasing ease. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13 What does that mean? Well, for me this means dedicating the rest of my life to understanding His love more so that I can be a better vessel of it for the people He places in my life. That’s a win-win, right?
3. In the presence of God there is conviction of sin, and “where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matt 18:20
The way the World Race is set up forces people to get real and dirty. You share your mess and people help you through it. Other times, people share your mess WITH you, because you didn’t recognize it. I have come to refer to this as “covering one another’s nakedness” because it is as if you are living life with no pants on and everyone else can see your shame, but you can’t. You’ll have to agree that this way of life is not ideal, but without other people, you’re stuck. It is true that other people can point out your flaws much better than you can, and it is important to have trusted people in your life who can speak the truth in love and help you move past those negative habits which show the world your face as opposed to that of Jesus. It hurts, but it is good. You will emerge as pure gold if you don’t take a shortcut through this furnace. This is, in fact, God’s fire. Press in. Be un-offendable. Recognize God’s hand in the process, take it, and hold on for dear life.
4. There are no shortcuts to discipline. Either you learn to master yourself, or you are mastered. Ugh, I can’t even lie right now. He’s still working on this one heavily! I am such an “organic person” who does things when I feel it’s time to do them. I don’t make my bed (why? I don’t get it). I keep one dish in the sink until I need to use it, then I clean and use it, then put it right back in the sink. Things tend to be forgotten because I don’t keep a schedule/Calendar. I have to admit that I like being this way, free of stress-inducing reminders and deadlines and such. I have to also admit that some things that come along with this way of life I REALLY wish I did not do. I procrastinate, a LOT. I stuff troubling issues down deep so I forget them for a while, but they are still there breeding fear and shame. I tell myself that I can skip my bible reading and devotion today because one more day of renewing my mind through other sources isn’t that much of an issue. Bad idea. When I finally read God’s word and meet with Him, I realize how thirsty I had become. I remember how healthy it is for me to be reminded of Who I am and Why I am here. I am learning that if my treasure is in God, I will do what it takes to know Him more, and spending TIME with Him is essential. I must read His love letter, and I must talk to Him about it.
This blog will be continued soon. I am learning so much, it is difficult to keep it short!
Meanwhile, I am still in need of $1200 for the deadline coming in 8 days. Please consider donating towards my race. I am convinced that God has me in the race for the full 11 months, but I would be remiss not to share my need with those who can help. Just click the “Support Me” link at the top or left side of the screen. Thank you for your prayer and continued support!
