Giving up things. Sacrificing things isn’t easy. And it isn’t meant to be. Some sacrifices seam bigger then others. But to the individual, every personal sacrifice means something different. One thing that a person gives up may mean nothing to another, but to that person it could mean everything.
Tonight us girls got together and decided we were going to give up something to Jesus. “To wash his feet with,” as Mary did with her perfume. Her perfume that took a years wages to buy. A gift she poured on His feet and wiped with her very own hair. A precious gift. Something she valued greatly.
What was my perfume that I wanted to give to Jesus. To honor Him with giving Him what I value most.
For me it is a talent He has given me. Photography.
When I signed up for the Race that was one of the things I was looking forward to the most. Taking pictures of all the awesome places and people I see around the world. But God has shown me, or is beginning to show me, that I put too much into capturing EVERYTHING.
While we were in Haiti we went out to this awesome beach and had fresh caught and cooked lobsters and I captured every part. From the crystal clear water to each fascinating step of the lobster process, of cage in the sea to the plate. All the while I was so excited to get home and look at all of the pictures and edit them. I had already planned out a few (which tells you how obsessive I am about this).
When I got home to look at the pictures, they were all gone. Some how they had magically all been erased. And not even the whole card, just the ones I had taken at the beach. Only them. I was so upset. I cried. I spent all the rest of the day looking for camera card memory recovery programs online. Really long story short I wasn’t able to get them back. It devastated me. I had lost the pictures I was so excited about.
I knew that God was trying to teach me something. But at the time I couldn’t figure it out. Its pretty obvious now. But I was blinded by my selfish frustrations.
Skip ahead to now. God has asked me to give up taking pictures of Angor Wat. If you don’t know what that is let me tell you. Its one of the 7 wonders of the world. Its these gigantic temple ruins that is the symbol of Cambodia. I mean its on their flag for goodness sake. Thousands of temples that take days to see. Able to be seen from space. A huge deal for a photographer. Basically the pyramids. We have planned to go visit at the end of the month and I have already been planning my pictures.
Imagine the whole scenario with the Haiti thing…. That was just a beach and some lobsters and it tore me apart. This is one of the 7 wonders of the world. And He wants me to sacrifice it to Him and not bring my camera.
As soon as I knew this is what He wanted me to do, I cried my eyes out. I sat in the corner and cried.
Jesus come on!! Really its one of the 7 wonders of the world!!!
Do you love this more then me?
When am I ever going to be back in Cambodia to see this? How can I show people how awesome
this place is if you wont let me take pictures??
Is this more important to you then me? I gave my son. Can’t you give up some pictures of an
old building?
As I processed this all out, God brought me to the story of Cane and Able.
I want your best. Don’t give me something that is easy for you to give up.
He then brought me to A Knights Tale. Funny enough. The part where Heath Ledger/William has to prove his love to Joselin by losing instead of winning like he always does.
He wants me to show Him that I love Him and sacrifice this thing in a way that I would lose personal gain and choose to put Him above my personal desire of collecting all these trophy pictures of where I’ve been.
These things will fade. Show me what I mean to you.
I guess I have started to place my worth in wether I take good pictures. Whether I capture EVERYTHING or not. God reminded me that He gave me this gift to glorify him. To bring awareness of the world around us. To showcase the beauty of this world. To share the faces of the widows and orphans around the world. Not to glorify myself by showcasing my abilities and displaying trophy pictures of the awesome places I have been.
He is teaching me to glorify Him. In a new way. This is going to be hard for me. To set down my camera and allow Him to show me things with out looking through a lens. But I can already tell that it is going to be beautiful.
He never said it was going to be easy.
Just follow me. Just obey me. And I will bless you.
