Thailand…
The ministry this moth has been interesting to say the least. It has been a little difficult for me… When we first arrived we were told by our contact Emmi that Thailand is the land of distraction, confusion, apathy, and hopelessness. And i encountered each one of those things while here in Thailand.
It was so hard not to be apathetic towards life. It felt like i was always tired. No matter how much sleep i got i could always use more.
The confusion didn’t stop at the language barrier, it was in the planning also. Anything we planned turned into this stressful event of confusion and misunderstanding.
The endless forms of entertainment, be it shopping, eating, internet, massages, or the endless fun attractions of the Thai culture, were distractions form the intimacy that i was seeking from God.
The complete difference of the language and the fact that i never had an English student come to my class, gave me a sense of “what I’m i really doing here of any value??”
But amidst all this, God was teaching me a lesson.
I live in America. The land of distraction and apathy. And perhaps the other things as well. I LIVE there.
The whole time I have been in Thailand i have been thinking to myself, “I couldn’t do ministry here, its so distracting!” But i live in a place like Thailand, or worse!
If you can’t focus here in Thailand, how are you going to focus in America??
I have to learn to be purposeful in my relationship with God in the mists of distraction. Sure it was easy to spend time with Him in Haiti, when I could never get away from the oppression of my spirit, and spending time with Him was the only relief. But here it was different.
He is teaching me to remember Him, and to CHOOSE to spend time with Him. Yes there are lots of other options. But to choose Him instead of getting on the internet at every down time, or instead of going out and eating all the time, stay back and spend time with Him.
If I’m being honest, i didn’t do a good job of that this month. I took every option there was to distract myself rather then spending time with my Beloved.
Why is it that even when i KNOW how sweet it is to be in His presence i still choose to do other things to fill my time??
Why when i KNOW that He is the answer that i am seeking. The happiness and joy that i long for every hour of the day.
Why is that so hard????
I have to learn to CHOOSE Him. Even amidst other options. Spending time in the sweet, renewing presence of my King needs to become a life style that is long lasting. Not just something that i do this year. Not something that will end when i get home. But a long lasting LIFESTYLE, of choosing Him.
Thailand was a difficult month for me. Staying focused on Him amidst everyday life is going to be a battle. But its one that i have to learn to fight. One that i have to learn to win.
