This past week, I had the privilege of joining about 300 World Racers on multiple routes for 'Training Camp' near Atlanta, GA. One of the most profound realities for me has been having to face my own expectations about what this next year will bring.
To not give too much away to future racers, Training Camp blew me away. It was alot more intense emotionally, spiritually, and relationally than I expected. But God began to really speak about surrendering my own expectations – and stopping to think about why different things upset or satisfied me.
Expectations. We often don't realize we even have them until they're unmet. Comfort, familiarity, convenience, space… these are things in our American culture that are a given. But when traveling to 11 countries with multiple members crammed on a bus, running through an airport, working in emotionally draining places – those expectations are pretty unreasonable.
This week made me realize a few really important things about myself. I have carried a weight of fear and insecurity with me for too long, and this week brought them all to a head. "Can I DO this??" I had to laugh at myself, it felt like high school all over again – I wanted to be the 'social butterfly.' to be the 'initiator,' the 'team leader.' But God had work to do in building my confidence and showing me that for some reason, He has a plan to show His miraculous power through little ole' me.
What God did show me was something really beautiful. My team confirmed the words "confidence" and "joy" multiple times – and I am discovering that my role here is to delight in the gifts God has given me, not to covet the ones He hasn't. To be an encouragement, to love deeply – without as many words or as much volume – those things are okay. I can be used in that.
I am so thankful for this experience at Training Camp. Thank you all for praying and walking with me on this journey to 11 countries in 11 months. It's gonna be a wild ride…
