Analyzing passes the time, but no conclusion is reached.
My heart desires something that doesn’t seem possible.
Why? Why Lord is it not possible?
I don’t understand and I wonder why?
My hands are tied. Well, not really…
I’m free to take the reins again but we all know how that will turn out.
So, I’m stuck here in the desert of loneliness.
Or is that name a lie given to it by the enemy?
The way it feels tells me that I won’t make it out alive,
But the still small voice tells me otherwise.
Which voice will win?
The lie that is all too easy to believe?
The feeling of despair welling up inside of me?
Or the small but powerful voice that promises He will never leave me.
No matter how much it hurts, I refuse to believe the pain.
I refuse to believe the father of lies.
How many times have I gone through the fire of confusion and come out on the other side unburned?
True, sometimes I just closed my eyes and with fear hoped for the best
Sometimes I went kicking and screaming with knuckles white
But always, without any help from me, He carried me safely through
Am I to believe this time will be any different?
Will all of the worrying change one thing?
No, he feeds the birds of the air and clothes the Lilies of the field.
And of how much more worth am I, His daughter?
So I trust and I cry out.
I trust that He will give me the thing that I desire if that is part of His perfect plan
Or in His infinite wisdom, in His infinitely higher ways
He will give me what is best.
Even if it’s different than what I think.
The conclusion to my question, my cry, my groaning is yet to be revealed
But the thing that is evident and proven true
The thing that I will allow to trump all my feelings and the churning in my gut
Is the One true Word.
That perfect love casts out fear.
Because of the great love with which he loved us
He gave us His son as a propitiation for our sin.
And that is perfect Love.
I have nothing to fear in the Love of the Lord.
His heart is for me
And who can be against me?
What circumstance can change that?
Though the hills be removed I will yet praise Him.
Although my mind wants to fight
Although it loves to analyze
Although it loves to think of ways to take control
I will sing David’s song and go on
Bless the Lord O my soul
And all that is within me Bless His holy name
Bless the Lord O my soul
And forget not all his benefits
The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
When he delights in His way;
Though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong
For the Lord upholds His hand.
In my flesh I am weak and undone.
Again and again I face the question
Will I obey or will I rebel?
Obedience is the only real option
Although the enemy loves to tell me otherwise
Rebellion is a facade that promises so many things
But it only always ends in death
With strength from the Lord I choose obedience once again.
