I just finished reading compelled by love by Heidi Baker. To give it the most simple summary… It made me realize that it is actually possible to live a life completely abandoned to Jesus.
I mean, I knew it was possible… at least on paper…but I never knew how to walk it out. I remember when I was reading through the book of Acts a few years ago and I came across the verse in chapter 2 that said
"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need."
I desired a life with that much freedom. A life where I wasn’t bound to things or comfort or money or status. I asked the Lord how can I live a life like that. It seemed impossible. But he says with Him all things are possible! So I resolved to chew on it for a while. I felt at a loss, and I had no idea what that looked like or how I could walk it out.
The problem was that I was trying to make it into a formula. With this formula, when the steps were executed perfectly, everything would fall into place and I would have finally figured out how to live the radical life. I wanted to be able to follow what I read in the scriptures but I wanted the outcome that I thought best.
I wanted to be able to give everything away, but still have everything.
I wanted to love those that the world sees as unlovable but still be loved by everyone myself.
I wanted to go to the dangerous places but be assured of my safety.
In order to do this I needed to figure out a formula where I could take the “risk” and obey what God asked of me but still make sure the outcome was safe. I just needed to find a way to live a risky life without the risk.
Through this book the Lord revealed the obvious to me; there is no formula.
Simply love.
Love God and love his people.
Love the rich and poor alike.
Love the loveable and the unlovable alike.
Love those that repay and those that don’t.
There’s no formula to figure out. Just risk the life of love and see what God will do. I don’t have to see what lies behind the equal sign before I begin. Get rid of expectations of how things should look. These expectations, when not met, cause me to re-evaluate and adjust myself so that I get the “right” outcome next time. That made it all about me and none of it about Jesus. This life of love is about surrendering my will and expectations and living a life of risk. To love with everything I have inside me, which by the way is nothing less than the spirit of the living God. None of it is about me. Its only about Him. I just have to choose love everytime and then no matter what the outcome it is to His glory.
Another thing… I can only pour out as much Love/Jesus as I have consumed so I have to stay hungry. Lord make me hungry. That I would live in a continual pursuit of You. As I fall more in love with Him I can see everything else fall away. Paul was not just some “superhero” of the Bible. He was a man who had encountered the Living God and was desperately in love with Him. That is THE change in a person.
Lord, may we only always look to you. May we fall more in love with every encounter. May the love you have given us be poured out on those around us, regardless of social status, and by it change the world.
