My best friend gave me a CD of some of her favorite music before I left for the Race, and I have listened to one song just about on repeat. "Called Me Higher" by All the Sons and Daughters really describes my desires right now, going deeper and following Him where He calls.
"I could just sit
I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness
Hope to feel Your presence
And I could just stay
I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You
Hope to feel something again
And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down
But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord"
Awesome message, right?
But one time I just found myself wondering how I have I changed? How am I going deeper?
Yes, I am physically going somewhere. But on the inside, spiritually, emotionally, what am I doing to go deeper with Him and to let him know me deeper. The truth is in all the chaos and craziness of getting ready for the World Race I feel like I have actually put going deeper with the Lord on hold. The worst part is this is not the only time this has happened in my life. Anytime chaos hits I automatically turn inward, bunker down and power through whatever it is. Then when the chaos settles I realize I am exhausted, and lonely. I have the hardest time in my head and heart turning over to God and going deeper with Him.
Physically I can go, I love to go, I am made to go. But if my body is going as a vessel for Him but my mind is just going deeper in myself, what’s the point? I can go and do all the great works and talk to so many people, but if my own heart and mind is remaining stagnant, what’s the point? If my body is going why is it so much harder for my mind to go deeper too? Why do I always hesitate when I get to the point of going deeper with Christ? Am I afraid of what He will think when He sees those deeper parts of my heart? Am I afraid that He will no longer want to send me when He sees what is really deep down inside of me?
I don’t really know, I guess I am afraid of something; something is keeping me from taking that next step.
Or maybe I am just lazy and just don’t want to spend that extra time in His word and in prayer. Maybe I don’t want to put in the effort to do what it takes to go deeper. Either way, I want to take those steps and follow His call to go deeper.
I want to be a person who is not only following His lead physically but also going mentally and spiritually because He has called me deeper there also.
Where is He calling you to go deeper? Find it, and find to courage to face what is under the surface.
