I’m going to start with truth that will be truth no matter what season or circumstance I’m in.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
I believe those words with all of my heart. I believe that because of what Jesus did I stand in victory. And while my heart knows that peace, my eyes have drifted away from this truth and onto seemingly hopeless situations that I find myself in.
While I was still on the race I heard God say, “This next season between you coming home and you getting married is going to be the toughest season you’ve ever walked through.” Some people told me that was fear and not God, but I knew it was Him. When he told me I wasn’t filled with fear, I was filled with this sense of peace knowing that he would be by my side every step of the way.
And guess what? He was right; life post race has been the hardest season in my 22 short years of life. I’m not saying this to be dramatic or for your sympathy, I’m saying this to be real and let you know that sometimes we just have to speak what we know to be true over our situations and ourselves.
It’s hard. It’s nothing like I expected. But he is here.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”
-Psalm 34:18
My tendency is to dwell on the fact that my heart has been broken over and over again since I’ve been back.
But where I want my focus to be is on the fact that Jesus is really close to me. He is saving me as my spirit is crushed.
Sometimes when Jesus saves us he doesn’t change the situation, he changes our attitude, our perspective and our focus. And that’s just what he is doing in my life right now. When I get done writing this blog I will go back and chances are some situations won’t be any different.
But it’s not my job to change the situation. It’s my job to let Jesus change my attitude.
Over and over again. And then again tomorrow. And the next day.
Since Jesus is so close to me right now I am keenly aware of the areas in my life that don’t look anything like him. My flesh’s response to heartbreak is bitterness. Some would call it a defensive mechanism to keep more pain out but I’m going to call it exactly what it is: SIN.
Bitterness isn’t from God; therefore I don’t want it in my life. Not to mention that once bitterness sets in I can’t control it and it ends up leaking over into other relationships. It also hinders me from being able to focus on the bigger picture and the victory I stand in. As if that wasn’t enough, bitterness turns my focus inward, and as a follower of Jesus it’s never supposed to be about me. Lastly, who wants the Jesus I have when I’m displaying bitterness instead of him? Nobody.
In short: Sin against me doesn’t justify sin in me. And bitterness doesn’t protect anyone; it’s a destructive force.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
-Exodus 14:14
God doesn’t change and the same God that fought against the Egyptians on behalf of the Israelites is here today asking us to let him fight for us. Spoiler alert: he has already won. But that’s the type of Dad he is; continually proving to his children that we are worth fighting for.
Wherever you’re at I pray that God would show you how he’s been fighting for you, even when you didn’t see it and even when you resisted it.
Whatever battle you’re facing-stand still in his truth and know that not only is victory yours because of what Jesus did, but somehow in a way we can’t see yet, he is using the scars from the battle to point to a story of redemption.
That’s the God I love. A Dad who fights for me. A God who brings beauty out of the ashes. A God who breathes redemption into every scar.
So, instead of looking at our situation and getting overwhelmed with hopelessness- let’s look up. He’s worth looking at.
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth”
-Psalm 121:1-2
