Confession: going into last month in Thailand God told me to live by faith and not to use my personal money. He made it clear and I went into the month thinking "yeah I can do this." But when I actually got to Thailand the infamous word of "but" came up.
"Yeah God, BUT I have to get at least one outfit I can wear in the bars for bar ministry." While this was true, I couldn't wear my typical world race attire of t shirt and yoga pants, I didn't allow God to provide. Instead I said, "I have to have it, so I'll just go get it."
"Yeah God BUT I love coffee and I live right above a coffee shop. There's no way you really meant for me not to spend any personal money, you know all that coffee is just too hard for me to say no to."
Many circumstances like the ones just mentioned came up and one "but" turned into five more. Needless to say I didn't allow God to teach me whatever it was He wanted to teach me through this call to live by faith concerning my finances. I justified each "but" and missed out on the blessing God had for me last month in Thailand.
Come to find out Jesus gives us a few examples of what happens when we say BUT. In Luke chapter 9 there are two men who tell Jesus they want to follow him, but instead of the sentence ending " I will follow you." It ended with "Lord I will follow you, but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family." Jesus isn't into the business of buts. He goes as far to say, "no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." He makes it clear, there is no looking back when it comes to following him.
The last day of Thailand I was going to mail postcards at the post office and I didn't have enough money for the stamps so I went to a nearby ATM. Not only did I not get any money, the ATM took my card and I didn't get it back. In the midst of my frustration God spoke to me and said, "Trust me."
Last month he asked me to place my finances in his hands, and I deliberately chose not to. This month he took those finances away so that I wouldn't have the option of opting out.
Will it be hard? Absolutely. But anything that God asks me to give up that I choose to hold onto is an idol. Last month money was an idol, and I refuse to let it be an idol this month.
As you read this you may be thinking there is nothing wrong with using personal money on the race, and you're absolutely right. Things like deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, and soap are necessities and come from personal budget. There are also a lot of adventurous things we can use personal money for like shark diving, elephant riding, and shopping for clothes and souvenirs.
I'm still asking God to provide things this month, and I know that he will. He loves me too much not to. He promises us that we don't need to worry because he cares for us so much.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life." -Matthew 6: 26-27
I'm stepping into Cambodia without my personal money and in exchange I'm receiving the peace that abba wants to give me as he fulfills all of his promises. It's going to be a great month, a month full of his provisions and blessings!
My devotion puts it like this:
"By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ's statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when he brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it."
This month I chose to knock down my idol of money and to laugh at common sense and say yes to The Lord with no buts!
What is it that God wants to knock down in your life? Are you saying "but" just because it doesn't make sense in the eyes of this world? Remember that very little of what Jesus did and continues to do makes sense the eyes of this world. So put the lenses of the world down and choose with me to pick up his eyes of faith.
