"Therefore since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which do easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him who has endured such hostility by sinners against himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
-Hebrews 12:1-3
In Swaziland my team asked our squad leaders to pray about a challenge for us, and they came back to each of us with questions from God. My question was, "What are you running from?"
As Alyse asked me this question I sat there dumbfounded. I had no doubt that it was from God, but I just didn't understand because I didn't feel like I was running from anything.
I prayed over that question and got no answer until month 4 debrief. And I didn't realize the answer until she came to me and said, "God wants you to know you're not running anymore."
I didn't even know what I was running from until that very moment. But once I did it made a profound impact on my identity.
Pretty much all my life I have been labeled as a 'natural leader' and as a result leadership is something that I stepped into a lot. But coming into the race I was burnt out from leadership, and I really felt God telling me that I needed to learn how to follow.
When I got to training camp people called out leadership in me and I shared that God wanted me to learn how to follow. They were supportive of my decision, but there was one trainer (Ryan Otto) that was sure I was supposed to lead.
So for the first four months I set out to prove him wrong, and not just him but everyone who had ever called me a leader. I wanted to be known as someone who could follow. It got to a point that I had really negative connotations associated with leadership and honestly, every time I was told that I was a natural leader I got mad. I would cry to God and tell him I was trying to learn but nobody could see it, even me.
As backwards as it sounds I was praying someone would look at me and tell me I was following well as opposed to leading well.
When I shared this struggle with Alys she challenged me to ask God to show me the difference between natural leadership and supernatural leadership. That wasn't the response I was looking for. I was sick and tired of praying about leadership so, being my stubborn self, I decided to run away from the question by holding off on asking God to show me the difference.
Once I stopped running and finally asked, he was faithful to show me. He explained clearly that thus far I had been a natural leader because I have operated by what comes natural to me. I have slipped into leading in my own strength because making decisions isn't really all that hard for me. I operated out of my title, and not out of Him alone.
What He was asking me to step into was supernatural leadership by stopping the process of operating out of a title, and instead operating solely by His voice. I needed to learn how to distinguish Shelby's thoughts from Gods thoughts and only lead by voicing His thoughts.
So, the first four months I learned how to follow, but not in the way I expected. I learned how to submit to godly leadership and how to lead amongst my team without a title and only when God prompted me. Of course, I made mistakes but what God taught me was to listen and act on His voice alone.
Coming into month four debrief everyone knew team changes were happening and new leaders were being raised up, and for the first time since the race started I had peace either way regarding leadership. I kept repeating what a wise man once told me, "Keep doing what God told you last until he tells you to do something else." I decided to stop running from what God had for me. I knew that if God wanted me to learn more about following He would put me under the leadership of one of my squad mates, and if he wanted me to put into practice what he told me about leadership he would put me in a position of leadership.
Well, after a lot of prayer the coaches, squad leaders, and squad mentor felt like God was calling me into a place of leadership and when they asked I said yes. I said yes knowing that this season of leadership would look nothing like any other position I've been in before. I knew it would be easy to slip back into my old ways, but I knew that I couldn't let that fear prevent me from being obedient to God.
So here I am, month 5 of the race and leading a group of 5 phenomonal women. I seriously couldn't be more honored to walk beside them, grow with them and serve with them.
"…out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." -Matthew 12:34
We are called team Genuine Overflow because we don't want to serve, love, or do anything out of ourselves. Were ready to operate fully out of the overflow of what God is doing and teaching each of us. We know that the blessings God gives us aren't meant to be kept just for us, but to be passed through us and unto others.
As you read this I ask you to pray for us. Pray for team unity, vulnerability, and for God to break us of anything that isn't of him thats inside us. Pray that we would always operate out of a genuine overflow by keeping God first. Pray for me, that I wouldn't do whats easy and what comes natural. Pray that I do the supernatural by walking with Abba so closely. Pray that each of us run towards God and all that he has for us.
Finally I challenge you to take a moment and ask Jesus to search your heart. Is there anything in your life that God is calling you into, or even out of, that you're running from ? Run towards the hard and uncomfortable things He has for you because that is where the growth and reliance on him begins.
