As I just celebrated Easter in a totally new way and as I approach my 22nd birthday here in Nepal Jesus has some things to teach me about a day that is tremendously more important than April 28, 1992; aka the day I was born. After all, I didn't choose to be born, it was a decision that was made for me.
But I did chose the day I died. Although I cant pinpoint the exact day, I know that the most important decision I've ever made was sometime in the fall of 2011.
During that season I admitted that I couldn't continue to do life without help; and not help from a man or my mother, but help from my Father in heaven. Up until that point I was looking to others to define my faith and was in a relationship with Jesus because that was the right thing to do and I wanted all that Jesus had to offer me. It was a one sided relationship in which he gave, and instead of giving back I just spent time with him once a week.
I praise Jesus for pursuing me to the point of my full surrender and death. It was then that I made the decision to make the relationship two sided and willingly chose to die so that Christ's resurrection could be shown in me and through me.
Since that day God has been continuing to reconstruct my view on death and resurrection through learning about his.
Jesus's death was the ultimate expression of Gods love for us. It was in his death that all the wrath we deserved was poured onto Himself. Jesus not only endured death on a cross, but he willingly chose it because he knew that his death would bring God the most glory. He knew that he had to die so that others could see the power of God to resurrect.
That's the death I want to identify with, the death which brings God the most glory. A death that shouts, "Shelby no longer lives, but it's Christ in her that lives!"
The fact that Jesus died once and for all challenges me because as a sinner I have to choose to die each and everyday. Sometimes its new areas where he convicts me and other times its the same area I died to yesterday and the day before. Its a choice, and because I am not God i have to make the decision daily to die to myself so that my life makes much of Jesus.
"We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father we too may live a new life." -Romans 6:4
The next important step is recognizing that after death something new took its place. Jesus makes it clear that after he rose He was totally new. Not that he had any sin in him to begin with, but his humanness was gone and he was God incarnate! Jesus never revisited his old self, he let it die, and we should follow suit.
"If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." -Romans 6:5-7
Many times I recognize that my old nature died, but yet I let it come back to life. The only life I should allow to be resurrected is the life of Christ. I no longer need to revisit the life of slavery I was once in; instead I need to focus on the freedom that Christ provides through his resurrection.
So this year on my birthday I rejoice in my death Because of the example Jesus set for me! Death is no longer a morbid thing. Death in the spiritual sense means that I am looking more and more like Jesus-which is Gods intention for all believers. And even death in the physical sense means that I get to be with Jesus face to face for all of eternity. While I'm not wishing that I would die right now; I am rejoicing because it is on that day that I get to be united with the ultimate lover of my soul, my supreme father, God himself.
As you read this I ask you to allow Abba to speak to you. First is your relationship one sided? Do you merely go to Jesus for all that he offers you, or are you living your life as a sacrifice to him? If you've truly made that decision what does He want to remind you of today? What piece of old self does He need to crucify so that his perfect self can be resurrected in its place?
My prayer is that through life and death and every birthday in between that I make more of Jesus.
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17
