I've found out pretty quickly on the race that I am still Shelby. I didn't cross the ocean and then miraculously become this person who doesn't struggle, doesn't stumble, and who doesn't have to fight the flesh off daily, and many times hourly. The things that were stumbling blocks for me back home are not only still present on the race, but they are magnified.
That's what happens when we live in community. It brings out the Jesus in us, but it also brings out the selfishness that lies within each of us. Anyone can "fake it" for a week or so, but after 2 months with the same group of people 24/7, it is bound to come out. That's when loving someone moves to a different level. A level that says, "I love you too much to let you continue feeding your flesh. I love you so much that I'm willing for you to be mad at me when I call out parts of your life that aren't Godly."
As my team calls these things out in me I have two options:
(1) I can deny it and become defensive
(2) I can accept that there are blind-spots in my life, and recognize that change is hard. But change is of The Lord.
Community living is difficult. Sharing everything from shampoo, to food, to the deepest darkest parts of our hearts, motives, intentions and lives with 6 other people that we didn't even choose isn't what anyone would call normal. But God's kingdom is upside down and redefines normal. God chooses biblical community to be the vehicle to make us look more like Him by calling each other to lead a blameless life.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."
-1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
What makes community beautiful is reaching a point where nobody fights for themselves, but everyone is fighting for one another. Putting others needs above your own, while knowing that someone else is doing the same for you. The world says always think about "you," God says think about "others."
For those of you reading this that are future racers: remember that God takes the mess and makes it beautiful. Remember that while you didn't choose your team, your ministry hosts, or your living situations-God did. Never forget that He has called you, and He will be faithful until the end.
For everyone else: practice the community God intended right where you're at, a community of people who love each other so much that they aren't afraid to have tough conversations. Operate not out of your own love, but out of God's love that loves us all so much that He refuses to let us stay the same.
Don't try to leave it all behind, instead take all that you have: mess, strengths, weaknesses, the pretty, the ugly- and lay it at the feet of Jesus and the community you are apart of. Watch as He makes something beautiful out of it. Only He can do that, when we choose a life of vulnerability as opposed to trying to leave it all behind…
