We all know that things change. You love people and you lose people. You travel and you come home. You work hard and you rest. It is all a part of life. Knowing these things to be true does not make living them out any easier.
This past season has been a time of incredible growth that I will never forget. I have learned so much about spiritual warfare, the power of prayer, humility, love, the Lord’s faithfulness, self control, endurance, strength, leadership, gentleness, and steadfastness. I have learned that my calling is the same no matter which country I am in. I have learned about my identity and what abundant life looks like. I have learned that the Lord requires more patience and strength than I could ever have on my own, and that is why I need Him. I have learned that community and vulnerability are beautiful things. I have learned more than I thought I would these past 9 months, and now it is time to carry that home.
The fact that I will be home in 2 weeks bewilders me. I have been looking forward to this moment for a while now, and now that is is so close, I am a little nervous. I am looking forward to seeing my family and hearing their voices for longer than 5 minutes. I am looking forward to taking a shower in a clean bathroom and using soft toilet paper. I am looking forward to driving my car and hugging my brothers and eating what I want, not what’s available. I am looking forward to air conditioning and more than 4 pairs of shoes, but I am not looking forward to missing everything I have known this past year.
I am going to miss waking up at sunrise in my hammock with the cold African night air still lingering. I am going to miss sharing clothes with 14 other girls. I am going to miss not worrying about school or bills or other logistics of life in America. I am going to miss being surrounded by children. I am going to miss being continually immersed in beautiful community. There are so many things that I am going to miss about this past year, but I know that my time for these things is over. Now, it is time for me to step into a different unknown.
I am coming home, but I have no idea what that looks like for me. I don’t know where I am going to school next semester, I don’t have a job, and I don’t know how God is calling me to serve in this next season, but here is what I do know: My God is faithful and He has a plan.
Just like God called me to go on the race, He is now calling me to go home. My time to come home is not just how things worked out, it was planned this way. This is the end of one season, but it is not the end of my calling. In fact, it is just the beginning. I don’t know what this next season entails, but I am holding onto the promise that it is good. I am learning what it looks like to blindly follow my God into every depth. I am learning what real trust and dependence looks like. I am learning that God is good in every season and every season has its purpose. It is time and I am ready. I am ready to climb out of the deep end and jump into the ocean. I am ready to see God’s kingdom come alive in my country, in my city, in my community.
With all of this said, please don’t stop praying for me even though my time abroad is almost over. This season is just as important as the last. Please pray that I would hear what the Lord has to teach me in preparation for coming home. Please pray that God’s spirit would multiply in me and I would be filled with his love, his joy, his strength, his patience, his wisdom, and his peace.
I love you all so much and I am so happy that I get to hug you and see your faces in real life in a few weeks.
Much love,
Shelby
