It’s senior year of my undergrad experience, and I am slowly but surely beginning to freak out–and so is almost every other senior I know. My classmate used a term that I loved, and I think it accurately describes this chapter of my life: A Season of Unknowns. Catchy, right? And so appropriate. Everything seems to just be one giant question mark! What should I do after graduation? Where should I have my practicum? What if my practicum hires? Should I do grad school immediately if at all? What about travelling or other plans? Should I work first? What if I hate everything? Where is the best program? What if I make the wrong choice? etc., etc., etc.
Graduation sounds so far away because I can’t believe four years of my life have already zoomed by, but May 9, 2015 is creeping up faster than I realize. I can barely believe it’s already nearing the end of November! I’m not so worried about getting to graduation, but mostly about what to do AFTER. As a self-proclaimed mini control freak, not having a for sure plan freaks me out. I am gradually learning how to let go and take things day-by-day, but boy, it sure is difficult. I think that I need to know what the right decision is, what will give me the best chance of success.
I’m realizing I place my worth in performance instead of God, and that’s another reason why I am so thankful for this opportunity through the World Race. I am fully prepared to “let go and let God” and trust He knows what will be best for me and what will bring me the purest forms of happiness and peace. This Season of Unknowns is a draining, time-consuming, and emotional process. I feel like I’m just a twister of thoughts. Once I think I have a plan of action, BOOM!, another awesome-sounding school visits our class, or BOOM!, another missions/travel opportunity, or BOOM!, an amazing job could open up.
Being accepted to the World Race and beginning this journey has already taught me so much, but once again….Satan’s flaming arrows of doubt and fear hit me. This process has already taught me so much not only about myself but also about God. He overwhelms me with the reassurance that I have Him as my guide. I find comfort in knowing I am definitely not alone in this whirlwind questions. I have found hope in realizing I am where I’m meant to be. It’s funny how God works….just as I am beginning to doubt my plan, He swoops in and plants my feet in HIS plan. It seems the seasons are already changing 🙂
