I am sitting on my bed at the Casa Shalom hostel with a packet of tissues at the ready for when I sneeze 3 times in a row in the next minute or so. Make that 10 seconds. I didn’t think this position out too well because now I am directly eyeing the carefully hoarded bag of peanut m&m’s on my headboard. Darn. A few m&m’s will just have to take some for the team. The hostel is quiet, save for some keyboard tapping, as most of my other teammates are in the kitchen next door baking apple pie with Miha, one of Casa Shalom’s awesome residents. I blow my nose one more time and wince at the soreness of my nose. I have been feeling crappy for about a week now and am one sentence away from letting you in on a full-blown pity party. Ok, maybe I crossed that line already….
What do you do when you feel like this? When Satan’s whispering doubts and lethargy into your life and you can’t find ways to refute them? This month so far has been quite unexpected. Going from the craziness of the Nepali & Indian cultures to the quiet civilization of Romania is enough in itself to put you in a tailspin. There’s a mall with a MacDonalds & a Starbucks 10 minutes away here and just 2 bus stops up is a hot pretzel. (Apparently all of this World Racer’s culture shocks relate to food.) Obviously every month has a different ministry and location, but for some reason it’s been really hard to get in the groove here. It’s not been the contact’s fault, they’ve been amazing. Hot showers, internet, delicious meals- it’s quite the life here at Casa Shalom. We’ve passed out clothing and food to families in need & gypsy villages. We’ve sung & preached at churches and begun the process of spring-cleaning around the grounds. Then why does this tiredness still hang over me? Why have I been sick and down in the dumps for about a week now? Why is that every time I think I’m getting somewhere, I fall back into doubt and despair? I keep being reminded that our fight is not against flesh & blood but against principalities and powers. My team has helped me see how important it is to call doubts out as soon as I feel them now. I’ve worked too hard to let Satan stop my progress now.
So how am I refuting all these doubts and questions that I mentioned earlier? Community. As soon as I talk things out with my team and let them pray for me, I begin to see how these doubts are just lies I’ve bought into. As soon as we get in prayer and start talking about God I get all fired up and the lethargy flows away. It takes a lot of work for me to be open and bring things to my team but I encourage you to try it for yourself. How else will you realize that you’re not alone unless you let someone in? Satan is trying to corner you and lure you away from the group. Don’t let him. Call him out and let the group know so they can help you.
Boom. Community and prayer. Donesky.
