We were asked to write a blog about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here is what I’m expecting…
A
friend asked a couple of questions in regards to my last post, and this
will be the perfect topic in which to answer those. The first question
was what I predict or would like to see a change in myself and the
Kingdom as a result of this quest. The second question is what are my
reservations/doubts about the trip.
friend asked a couple of questions in regards to my last post, and this
will be the perfect topic in which to answer those. The first question
was what I predict or would like to see a change in myself and the
Kingdom as a result of this quest. The second question is what are my
reservations/doubts about the trip.
What
would I like to see change in myself? One reason that I felt I am
supposed to do this trip in the first place is because I think God
wants to get me out of my comfort zone, away from my life the way it
is, and be able to view the world differently. I feel like I am
completely and truly myself when I am stripped of the things in the world that tend to define me to others- what kind of music I listen to, what I wear, who my friends are. It’s good to step away from those things and truly seek God for your identity. I know that God has shown me who I am in Him, but everyone needs a reminder that He is the only one worthy of defining us. There are other things in myself that I know will have to change- I want to be more patient, more compassionate and empathetic, and more of a leader. I want to hear God’ s voice clearly and obey when He commands me to do things (and He asks people to do pretty crazy things sometimes). I want to be more focused on God and what His Spirit is speaking to me more than I ever have. I want to be in a constant state of prayer, and I want my life to be focused solely on Him. The mission field is a perfect place to work on these things.
would I like to see change in myself? One reason that I felt I am
supposed to do this trip in the first place is because I think God
wants to get me out of my comfort zone, away from my life the way it
is, and be able to view the world differently. I feel like I am
completely and truly myself when I am stripped of the things in the world that tend to define me to others- what kind of music I listen to, what I wear, who my friends are. It’s good to step away from those things and truly seek God for your identity. I know that God has shown me who I am in Him, but everyone needs a reminder that He is the only one worthy of defining us. There are other things in myself that I know will have to change- I want to be more patient, more compassionate and empathetic, and more of a leader. I want to hear God’ s voice clearly and obey when He commands me to do things (and He asks people to do pretty crazy things sometimes). I want to be more focused on God and what His Spirit is speaking to me more than I ever have. I want to be in a constant state of prayer, and I want my life to be focused solely on Him. The mission field is a perfect place to work on these things.
What would I like to see change in the Kingdom? If I truly am serving others not of my own power but of God’s, the Kingdom will be furthered. I don’t exactly know what that looks like in a land currently foreign to me, but I know that the Kingdom will be furthered if we are doing God’s work. I may hold a child that never gets held, share the Gospel, build relationships, and so much I can’t even fathom. All of these things will build His Kingdom on Earth. I want people to just know when they see our team that we are serving God and want to ask us about it. When you are completely focused on the Lord people can see it. I think that in a situation like this we will naturally go to God first, and His power will be revealed through us.
What are my doubts or reservations? One that I have thought about a lot is- is this the best way for God to use me? I see the things going on in Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky, and don’t want to leave it. I want to be a part of my community there, and I want to be sharing the truth with people all around me. So does God really want me to leave this to spend one month in various places? It’s not enough time to do a lot of things that could happen long term. God reminds me that He has lead me to the race for a reason. I will not know exactly why, but I need to trust Him. In my Earthly head I think a month isn’t long enough, but Jesus would meet people and in an instant they would be changed. The Bible says we will do even greater things than Jesus did. Who am I to limit God by saying a month isn’t long enough? He will do what He wants to do in His time be it a year of work, a month, a week, a day, or a minute. His time is beyond us. I can’t listen to the lies of the enemy or my own doubts- God will use me the way He wants to use me. This is such an amazing and exciting opportunity, but it also requires a ton of faith. I mean, I have to raise more money than I currently make in an entire year, but trusting His will to be done in this will definitely build my faith. God doesn’t care about money, and He essentially has control of all the money in the world.
I really don’t have a ton of expectations. I want whatever God wants to happen, and I have no idea what that will look like. I have some of the same expectations that a lot of people do- to build lasting relationships, to be homesick, to cry and laugh more than I have in a long time, to be dirty and gross and love it, to grow more deeply in my faith than I have ever imagined, to hear God’s voice, to see God’s Holy Spirit work, and to be reawakened to what God is doing around the world and be a part of it.
Whatever God does on this trip will be far greater and far different than I can even dream up, so I am going to go into it with an open mind and heart knowing that my human expectations are going to be very different than God’s. May His will be done!
