I haven’t really shared a lot about the happenings of training camp, but what I learned has definitely begun to show itself in the way I’m ministering. A long long time ago, or what seems so, my squad (the larger number) and I spent ten days going through inten(t)s(e) training (pun completely intended, as you can read.) Not only did some of us learn to “rough it”, but some of… all of us spent the ten days learning how to minister in great ways. Also, some of the training was super frustrating, hence this blog. Bob is a real person, and sometimes I really do want to tell him to shut up.
Training camp was filled with a ton of sessions about the ministry we will be doing over the next eleven months. Along with main sessions came a few breakout sessions. I met my buddy, Bob, in one of these breakout sessions. Bob really loves orphans. He doesn’t love their situation. He loves them. Who doesn’t love orphans?! Out of his love for orphans came a passion for ministering to them in a healthy way; a way that doesn’t leave them more hurt than helped when we leave.
Who thinks they know how to minister to orphans? *raises hand* I really thought I knew how to minister to orphans. Actually, it was probably the only ministry I thought I had nailed. Wrong. After sitting through this session I was half heart broken because almost the entire way I would have thought to minister to orphans was wrong. Now that I’m in the field I’m really having these urges to say things I shouldn’t say, make promises I can’t keep.
I shared a little bit about my first week’s experience at Hope in my last blog, but this last week my team and I were in Lesotho, and we had an incredible week. That’s a whole other blog in itself, which will come very very soon after this one, but while we were there Bob spoke volumes into my ministry.
In my very short time in the field I’ve already come to full agreement with the way Bob does his ministry. The funny thing is that I haven’t come into contact with any orphans, but I find it very healthy to apply his ministry rules at all times. I’m not saying those that don’t are wrong, but I feel more free in ministry when his rules apply.
I can’t quote his rules word for word, and I might be making half of these up, but I do feel like my ministry is healthy because of the following rules:
Don’t tell them you love them
I’m not saying don’t love them. I mean, in the long run who cares if you love them? You’re leaving. Tell them God loves them. He isn’t leaving. When a person is struggling and you have the urge to tell them you love them, tell them God loves them. What a perfect opportunity to do what you came on this trip to do?! I love everyone I’ve met so far, but the little boy that is struggling because his father just walked out on them will only be temporarily satisfied when I tell him I love him, so I told him his Heavenly Father loves him way more than anyone in this world ever could. That’s eternal comfort.
Don’t tell them you’re coming back. If you are coming back just do it. The surprise is worth more.
You aren’t the first team to break that promise. When you are in the moment you say things you don’t necessarily think will hurt because they are nice to hear, but when you tell a kid (or even a ministry host) you are coming back when you don’t know that you will, that hurts. At this point they probably don’t believe you because they’ve been told that time and time again. Just remain in the moment with them. Make the most of it while you can. Tell them how blessed you are to have met them.
Don’t overdo physical contact
The kids who tend to hang onto the teams that are serving, are the kids that don’t get much physical contact at home. Obviously, your first thought is to hold them every single minute, but that creates a dependence on you. You are leaving. What happens when they form a dependence on you, and then you leave? How hurt will that kid be? It’s fine to hug them, but really you should be cultivating a relationship that helps them to form a dependence on God. That’s what really matters.
I found myself slightly hesitant to follow these rules because my instinct is to do the exact opposite of them. I was literally telling Bob to shut up in my head. Now, I’m unhesitant because I’d rather leave sad because I want to stay, than the people I minister to be sad because I made promises that I can’t keep. I believe my ministry is so healthy because of these rules. In following his rules I have found that my relationship with God has grown, is growing. I’m becoming more dependent on Him for my comfort and for Him to comfort these people. Bob can keep popping up in my thoughts because he’s leading me into healthy ministry. A ministry that is about God and for God. The point of my ministry is not me, but Him.
