God has been dealing with so many of my issues this year, one thing after another. I am someone who likes to keep things simple because if my life gets too complicated I get lost and I stop speaking life. I stop listening to the still quiet voice, I function on auto pilot and I end up walking past the dying guy on the road worried that I might do something wrong by trying to do something right. I either break down or my eyes gloss over in confusion and I forget the simple truth that my life is just about going out and loving one person at a time.
We have done so much, seen so much, and known so much that now at this point we are accountable for much. I can’t just close my eyes and plug my ears and pretend that I haven’t witnessed what I’ve seen and heard what He has commanded me to do. I can’t live in disobedience anymore without fully knowing that I am in disobedience. I must surrender all. I can’t hang on to anything of this world, it’s all given to me from God and it can all be taken away. I have to trust that it all works together for the good.
I have been finding my way back to the street where I love to be. My heart is for the one on the road dying. I have been on this journey this year fighting and struggling to stop and help the one everyone else passes by. We are busy on our way to whatever we are doing and the ones on the street are looked over because we don’t take the time to stop for them.
I have been too busy compartmentalizing life, trying to organize my days, trying to follow rules, striving to perform, and sacrificing God’s ways just to please man. I have been pushed and pulled in just about every way you can be pushed or pulled this year. Pressured with the lies in my head and pressured from my peers on the race. However God has always been faithful to turn everything for the good, refining us for His good purpose, doing a beautiful work in both my life and the lives of others around me, teaching us how to love…to love even under pressure.
